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Re: The Old Man
Hey there Joshua :), I generally don't do nitpicks, but there are a few places I'd like to 'pick' at here. Overall, I think the story is impressive. As I ...
Oct 8, 2009 -
Re: Cara's Funeral
Irishfire! Hello! You have a cool username, haha. I'm June, your reviewer for the moment. Skillet, huh? Not every day I find a fan of them! (I'm a closet fan, ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: FACEMAP. Chapter 3. [R-13 for Swear Words]
Hello Auteur :). I'm June, and I'll be your reviewer for the moment. I think that this story has a ground for potential. I have followed this since you posted ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: The Lonely Creature Behind the Glass
Aloha, Kammie! Can't quite grasp this one. It's a decent poem, I think, but it seems more like a start to me. I think you should work on revising this. ...
Oct 6, 2009 -
Re: My Helix is a Highway
Impressive, Galeri! I agree with Daisy; it was very intense, as well as very well-versed with a steady pull. Your beginning was addictive, and you carried the quality through to ...
Sep 30, 2009 -
Re: Solace is misfortune, Chap.1/part.1:
Greetings, Henry, and a warm welcome to YWS! Nice! I love your direction; action, mystery, all of that great stuff here. I'm definitely going to follow this one along as ...
Sep 22, 2009 -
Re: a rose for the abused..
Wow, Eddie! This is good; I can honestly say that you've come a long way. Your poetry is steadily improving (and even if you don't think so, I promise, it ...
Sep 14, 2009 -
Re: covent garden
Kylan, [Before I proceed to drone on about the awesomosity of this, let me warn you and say that I am overly rusty at reviewing and don't think I'll say ...
Sep 14, 2009 -
Re: Wild Roses
G'day Rosey, I'm a bit overly rusty at reviewing, so if I'm unclear in anything, feel free to send me a PM or post in my guestbook, and I'll do ...
Sep 13, 2009 -
Re: Ambivalence
Hi, Ambrosia It's an okay start. I'd love to see you build onto this, make it fuller, more substantial. For now, it's kind of empty, kind of like a soliloquy. ...
Aug 16, 2009 -
Re: I'm You. [Prologue]
Hey Jaderemoi! June here! In all honesty, I didn't find this prologue interesting. I didn't think it had any bit of a "hook" to it, and in a strange way, ...
Aug 16, 2009 -
Re: Trust.
Hey Creative! Decent start. As some of the other reviewers mentioned, I think this could use a good deal of building on. Right now, you're giving us a few pieces ...
Aug 16, 2009 -
Re: I Don't Love Your Dad Anymore.
Hello, sheep! I think this poem has some potential, but could use a bit of work. To start, the organization stood out to me; the thoughts in this seemed scattered, ...
Aug 16, 2009 -
Re: Halfbreed Chapter One
Heylo, Tiff! June here! Two excuses: I haven't reviewed much standardized prose lately, I've dealt more in informative articles, minimalist, and experimental type writing lately, that I think I may ...
Aug 16, 2009 -
Re: Yellow
Kylankylankylan!!! Breathtakingly well done! I can't say that this is awesome in the same way that apostasy and hospice are, but, this is definitely beyond fantastic. Not to say that ...
Aug 16, 2009
