Junel

Hey, good job. Grammatical Etc. errors: So they all came running out of the garage, but Caleb kind of just flopped out, then they stood on the side walk like ...

Hey, great job! I'm only going to review half because I don't have much time, but if you want I can do the rest later. Grammatical Etc. errors: quickly widened ...

Hey, good job. Grammatical Etc. errors: But Jason on the other You don't need the But before would be better without it. But Jason on the other hand was doing ...

Hey, good job this is very entertaining to read. Grammatical Etc. errors: and then Jason screamed like a girl. “You scream like a girl.” Because Caleb says you scream like ...

Woah, this is really good. Your descriptions are amazing and give me a complete image of what's happened while also sending a little chill down my back. You definitely add ...

Hey, so I saw your newest chapter's up in the green room and decided I would go ahead and try reading you first chapter. I'm glad I did. Grammatical Etc. ...

Hey, Grammatical Etc. errors: First there are still multiple run-on's, but other people have said lots about that so I'll move on now. put spotlight on the You should add ...

Hey, this is very interesting and mysterious so far. You have developed your characters very well in just this chapter and still you didn't say everything so the reader has ...

Hey, this is very interesting so far and I can't wait for more. I love how you introduce us to the characters. We learn a lot about their personalities in ...

Hey, loved this like always. Grammatical Etc. errors: As the tree of them Typo. This should say three. shouting almost clear You should add was in between shouting and almost. ...

Hey, this is really interesting! Grammatical Etc. errors: next to its shoulder So here you should probably say him instead of its. The entire paragraph you do this. Referring to ...

Hey, so this seems interesting and I can't wait to actually read the story. First of all though I think you have plot mixed with setting. The plot of the ...

Hey, this is really interesting! Grammatical Etc. errors: noticed the it was sleeping This confused me at first, but it's just a typo. So the should be that. Characters: We ...

Hey, this is really interesting! Grammatical Etc. errors: slowly worked, just trying to get Here it would flow better if you took out just. Just is a filler word and ...

Hey, so this is interesting. Grammatical Etc. errors: pain in butt Here you are missing the, it should be in between in and butt. guess thats all . There should ...