Scarlet Banners' Life: Chapter One

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Hi, my name is Scarlet Banners. I live in New York with my Mom and little brother. I have no Dad, well at least I don't know anything about him, and whenever I ask about him my Mom just says “Later, Sweetie.” But I have dreams about what he might be like. My Mother home schools me, but this year I have been accepted into an amazing new school, Walker High.

Back when Jack was only five, he’s nine now, and when I was ten, I am fourteen, we would mess around all the time. Sometimes we would pretend to be in a spaceship and we would take it to the coffee shop two buildings away along  with a dollar. Then Will, who works at the shop, he likes Mom, would give us hot chocolate saying he was an alien from Mars and he would watch us go home to keep us safe. Being young was a good time, now everything is different I am in 9th grade and have two good friends who I haven’t seen all summer. Sandra and Emily.

Yesterday we were all going to get together when Sandra’s mom said that they actually had to cancel because they were going to visit her Aunt and Uncle who live three hours away! All three of us were so frustrated. After that bad news I ended up going down the coffee shop to visit Will and got a small coffee with a chocolate bar. But I wasn’t thinking so I totally forgot that they were closed at 5:30 A.M. and wouldn’t open until six. So I ended up waiting in the freezing cold air with only a ragged sweatshirt for 30 minutes straight. Well I was in luck because when Will he opens he comes 15 minutes early so I only had to wait 15 minutes until he let me in. I spent the rest of the day helping him.

I wake up early in the morning and look at the alarm clock, it’s 8:34 A.M. With my eyes still half way closed I sit up and see my Mom opening my light blue blinds. As soon as the phone rings the first time I quickly widen my eyes and without thinking at all I jump out of bed and storm downstairs and pick up the phone.

“Hello!” I say while yawning.

“Sup girlfriend!” I smile with an excited mind. Me and Sandra talk for hours when finally she asks what I am looking for,

“Can you come to my birthday party, in two hours?”

I shout to my Mom in her office if I can go and she replies with “Sure, anyway I have to go meet Will at his house!” Will lives 5 blocks away from them. I scream “Yes” into the phone I soon as she gives me the news. Mom later tells me she would take Jack to his friends house on the way and that she would also stop by the store. I hang up the phone and run upstairs to pack. I pick up my jeans and a purple shirt from the drawer and put them on then I go back to the drawer and get a tie-dye shirt of pink and purple and grab a long blue skirt and put it in the bag. I go into the bathroom and get out my toothbrush and toothpaste, and grab a hairbrush and comb and put them in the bag too. I run downstairs and grab my book from the coffee table next to it is a bright green letter with gold outline. My mom grabs the letter away before I can see what it is and goes back into her office and mouths to my with her phone to her ear “Leaving in 10 minutes!” I walk back upstairs and put the book in a pocket on the bag.

The ride was quiet and long, as soon as we got there I stepped out of the car and grabbed my bag I looked up and on Sandra’s deck I saw a boy with his arm on Sandra’s shoulders. 

“Hey, Scarlet this is my cousin, Scott!” She quickly rushes down her stairs and huggs me tight. “Too…..tight….Sandra!” I try talking with no breath. Sandra has always been at least 2 inches taller than me, mostly because her Dad is like 6 foot, and she has blonde hair just like me and blue eyes.

“Sorry, girlfriend, just us three haven’t had a birthday party at my house for like ten years! It’s been 1 year, but it feels like ten!” We always have a party with us three at her house with some of her family members, since her house is HUGE! 

“Yeah well…., I am starving, must have food!” We both giggle as we start walking up to her deck as my Mom drives away. 

“Hi, I am Scott, Sandra’s cousin” The boy walks over to me and holds out his hand. I drop my bag and shake his hand. 

“Tight grip, you have.” I smile and pick my bag back up. 

“That is what people tell me, but I don't understand, how it’s tight.” I shake my head and we all laugh. Now this is what saved my life from things getting too awkward.

“Sandra talks a lot about you,” Sandra smiles at this fact. “and Emily to has been mentioned a lot, ummmm,” He pauses. “You look pre…” We quickly get interrupted by Emily’s Dad’s car, saving my life before things start getting….awkward. 

“Emily, Emily, Emily!!” Me and Sandra say at the same time and Sandra goes down to help Emily with her bags. I drop my bag and pillow and follow her.

After taking her bags inside we head to the kitchen where Sandras mom is taking blueberry pie out of the oven. We walk over to the counter and watch as Sandra’s mom cuts the pie up so we each can have a slice. Once us three each grab a plate and head to her deck and sit at a table Sandra speaks saying “Emily we have a problem.”

“Why what's the problem?” Emily asks, I interrupt Sandra before she can speak

“Scott has a crush on me”

“ Wait what?” Emily says surprised.

Sandra shushes us before we could finish because Scott is approaching with his blueberry pie.

“Hey guys, my little sister should be coming over with my mom soon. I was wondering if you could offer to look after her while me and my mom go get groceries for dinner?”

“Ok….but only if you promise to never bother us during my birthday party, ok?” Sandra replies as Scott sits down. We all eat our pies in silence and Emily and Sandra seem to keep staring at him with suspicious looks and soon I joined in with the staring whenever he wasn't looking. But soon we finished our pie and me and my friends started to head down to the basement to set up our sleeping bags.

“Guys, I just had the best idea!” Emily smiles and gives a half evil look too.

“What?” I ask scared of what she might say

“We should prank Scott!” Emily says as she hands me my pillow.

“Well, if we do we should let my Mom and Dad and other guests know, they might need to know where not to be while we do whatever we do.” Sandra replies then goes off to her closet room with all the toys.

“I think I know what you're thinking..” I reply knowing she's getting out the water guns.

“We should ask him to meet us at my trampoline after dinner, but we need to make sure we get there before him so we might need some help from my little cousin but once he arrives he will be greeted by water in his face.” Sandra explains while handing me and Emily our water guns.

“I love the idea Sandra it will be time to get pay back!” Emily says with great excitement.

Once we fill our water guns and place them under the trampoline we head to their TV room to watch some show. While watching Jessie we fully plan out our prank and it might go something like this:

1.We go to dinner but at the end we ask Scott to meet us on the trampoline.

2.We head to the tramp while Ellie, Sandra’s little cousin slows Scott down by hanging onto his leg.

3.When he finally arrives and gets on the trampoline he will probably ask what we want but with our water guns behind our back we then take them out and shoot him with the fully full water guns and mostly aim for his face and arms.

After watching three episodes of Jessie we decided to go get a snack before dinner . As soon as we got to the kitchen there was a door bell ring. Me and Emily quickly walk over to the door with Sandra slowly walking behind. Sandra’s Aunt enters and gives Sandra two presents and gives her a big hug, as soon as I see the present I remember I neede to give Sandra the present I have been waiting a long time to give to her.

“Be right back, I need to go get something.” I start to head down the hallway to the stairs.

“Oh same here, we will be right back in time for….never mind” Emily quickly pauses remembering Scott was nearby talking to his Mom. We both head down stairs and look through our bags for Sandra’s presents.

“Ummm…..Scarlet I can’t find mine!” She said with a nervous shake to her voice.

“I think I found mine and maybe yours too.” I said with a confused look on my face why it ended up in my bag.

“What! How did it get there...oh whatever we should go back up before Sandra comes down looking for us.” Emily says while standing up to starting going back up stairs.

“Ya, lets go.” I respond

We go back up and give Sandra her presents Emily is giving her a little bracelet maker kit thing and a gift card to barnes and nobles she told me one day when we were on the phone and it is covered in dark blue wrapping paper. While on the other hand I am giving her a book on cooking and one small third of a heart friendship necklace, then I had a middle and the other side necklaces in my pocket waiting to come out, and I wrapped her present in light blue wrapping paper.

“Aww, thanks guys your the best. I really wonder what is inside them!” she said shaking each one and giving us hugs.

“Here’s a hint, it's a gift from me to you.” We all laugh at what I said and then walk over to Ellie to ask her a VERY important question.

“Hey Ellie! We need your help to..prank someone.” Sandra says as we get near her and away from everyone else.

“What do you need, Cus?” Ellie replies and she smiles while Emily replies.

“Oh just you need to make sure you slow down Scott when he’s trying to get to the trampoline so we get there before him.”

“Well that's all! That is one boring prank.”

I laugh and explain the whole plan to her and once I am done she smiles and says she will under one condition.

“After we have to go to the ice cream shop and buy me some Chocolate Chip Mint ice cream or else…..no.” She says with a serious but cute face.

“Ok...Ok I suppose it's a deal then? “ Sandra asks with a bit of surprise to her voice.

“Well if you promise to go to the ice cream shop and buy me ice cream then ok...it’s a deal.”

All of us smile and say a quick bye while Sandra’s aunt and cousin, Scott, leave to go get food for dinner.

After two full hours of looking after a seven year old Ellie it’s finally time for some dinner. We get called by Sandra’s dad (who recently got back from work) to dinner and there on the counter is Mac and Cheese and soda for us kids and Spaghetti and wine for the adults. We each grab a plate and head to the table to start eating, after Sandra grabbed her plate and put it down on the table she went to go talk to the adults in the house and tell them about the prank. When she got back she said they were fine with it going on and would try not to mess it up.

“Well at least they will try to stay away so it doesn't get too messed up.” She says once she sits down.

“Yep, well don’t say anything about it until after dinner, cake, and presents, or everything might go wrong if we even say a single word about it.” I say reminding them before Scott starts sitting down. For the rest of dinner we just stayed quiet and joked around a bit but so far the plan was not going to be ruined until cake time when Ellie made Scott not trust us as much.

“I can’t wait till later, then I can help you guys get….” I interrupted her before she could finish knowing what she was going to say to ruin our plan.

“Ya finish us get our stuff fully done and maybe sleep with us down in the basement, no need to tell everyone again.”

“Yep, but we might not let you anymore if you aren’t a good girl!” Said Sandra making Scott not get suspicious.

“Ohhh so ice cream and sleep with you guys as my rewards for helping you! Thanks Isww will make sure Sco….” Ellie paused realizing Scott was right next to her.

“Spot is fed and exercised for the next two weeks!” She said trying to sound normal, but now Scott was not sure she was saying Spot.

“Were you about to say my name Sis? Because I heard you say Scott almost..”

“She just miss said something, anyway she’s only seven.” Emily said trying to not ruin it anymore. For the rest of dinner everyone was quiet until dessert, we first opened presents of course and I was nervous Sandra was not going to like my present but I have a feeling she might. On the table was ten presents, two from her aunt, one from me, one from Emily, one from Ellie and Scott each, and four from her Mom and Dad. She first grabbed my present to her.

“Eeek!” I make a face as she grabs it and starts ripping it open.

“Omg, Scarlet this is epic it’s the cooking book I have always wanted!” She smiles as she sees the book and she quickly flips through the pages. She looks into the wrapping paper and see’s the one side of the necklace and she picks it up.

“This is beautiful where are the other sides though?” She looks at it then at me. I dig my hand into my pocket and feel nothing. Then I check my other pocket and feel them.

“Here they are,” I take them out and give Emily the other side.

“I had to order them specially because you can’t just find three heart friendship necklaces in the store it’s a one percent chance you will!” We all put on our necklaces then Sandra grabs Emily’s present.

“Emily! This is so cool, I have always wanted to try out this rubber band bracelet kit. It’s so epic thank you!” She smiles at the box and looks around the back then places it down on top of the cooking book. Then she starts opening another present when I start to feel dizzy and everywhere gets really fuzzy. It went away but then it came back harder with an annoying pain. I fall out of my chair and I hear Emily stand up and quickly walk over.

“Scarlet! Are you ok?” She lifts up my head onto her arm.

Once again it disappeared but coming back even harder and harder every time it went away, I hear more people standing up out of their chairs and rushing over.

“Call her Mom, Dad!” I hear Sandra shout.

Everything starts turn so blurry I can only hear people doing things. Then the pain went away but instead something rushed into my head. A man standing above me and looking down at me. He was crying and he had blue eyes just like me, but instead brown hair like my little brother. Then I notice once my Mom walked in that this was my Dad and I was having some memory of him but it was a painful one. He started walking out but my Mom tried stopping him but he just pushed her aside. My Mom was also crying and she started talking but I can't understand her. It looks like she was saying like

“Why do you have to leave us…” They both walked out of the room and I heard loud noises. 

Then I hear the door slam and my Mom crying even more. I look around the room and I notice this is my room. It has Magenta walls and little fairies on it. There is a my desk untouched, and my light blue blind opened letting morning sunlight in. There is a bunch of toys on the floor and next to me is my little whale teddy from when I was a little baby. There are baby things all over and even more toys. I stand up and I am just a baby I look around on the other side. I am in a crib and next to it is a table with a bottle of milk on it, and the bright green letter with a gold outline.

The memory fades away and I wake up still everything blurry and the pain even harder than before. I hear an ambulance coming closer and closer suspecting it’s for me. People rush in and put me onto a stretcher. I hear my Mom rush in then following me out and she sits next to me in the ambulance. A doctor gives me a shot and I fall asleep to the sound of doors slamming and the ambulance bell ringing loudly as they rush out of Sandra’s driveway, with me just breathing barely.

.  

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
JennyImStory
Review

This is a nice story, you've got some depth to your characters and it has a very casual pacing to it. I enjoyed it quite a bit and the cliff hanger at the end has me excited for more!
There was only one reoccurring thing I didn't like, but it's a simple and easily fixed mistake, not even a mistake really, just a personal preference.
Show the reader the characters and setting, don't just list everything out. In short: show don't tell. The information in the first two paragraphs could be and are represented in the rest of the story. You don't always need to throw all this information at the reader, stuff like she's home schooled and will enter a new school don't effect the plot you've shown us.
Showing the reader information as the story goes along is more natural then choppy info dumps. I know you're probably excited about Scarlet's history and how it will effect her now, but give the reader little bits of that history, have us guess WHY her dad isn't mentioned when her friend's are. Then the flashback at the end has even MORE gravity and it's this grand revile for the reader.
Other then that your plot seems well thought out and your character is likable. You don't have to change anything, just try and see the message I'm trying to convey through that paragraph of gibberish.
Can't wait to see more form you!

Ok thank you for letting me know what you thought of it. But the school part will be come imortant in the book soon just not in this chapter since its just the ending of summer.

User avatar
NympheaLily
Comment

Top of the morning, NympheaLily here!
First off, this is a really good start to a story. The suspense a the end, the action, the relations between the characters. Amazing writing! Molto, molto bene! I only saw a few grammatical and punctual errors and to be honest, I'm kinda too lazy to go back and find them.

A few suggestions that I have about the plot is that when Scarlett starts to feel dizzy, things kind of escalated a bit too quickly. You could add some foreshadowing to make it seem like something is about to happen. This is mostly because when she started getting dizzy, I was really confused on where all that came from because it seemed like it came from out of the blue.

I really like the story and the love drama that's going to happen. I'm very excited for a ship to set sail in this story as well, if you know what I mean ;). Anyway, that's all I have for now. I really like the story, as I said a billon times before, but no matter. Keep me posted if any more parts come out! And as always, KEEP THOSE FINGERS TYPING!
Ciao!
~NympheaLily

User avatar
NympheaLily
Review

Top of the morning, NympheaLily here!
First off, this is a really good start to a story. The suspense a the end, the action, the relations between the characters. Amazing writing! Molto, molto bene! I only saw a few grammatical and punctual errors and to be honest, I'm kinda too lazy to go back and find them.

A few suggestions that I have about the plot is that when Scarlett starts to feel dizzy, things kind of escalated a bit too quickly. You could add some foreshadowing to make it seem like something is about to happen. This is mostly because when she started getting dizzy, I was really confused on where all that came from because it seemed like it came from out of the blue.

I really like the story and the love drama that's going to happen. I'm very excited for a ship to set sail in this story as well, if you know what I mean ;). Anyway, that's all I have for now. I really like the story, as I said a billon times before, but no matter. Keep me posted if any more parts come out! And as always, KEEP THOSE FINGERS TYPING!
Ciao!
~NympheaLily

Ok thank you for letting me know what you think! More should be coming out soon so I will let everyone know when its out!

User avatar
Junel
Review
Junel wrote a review · Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:56 am

Hey, great job! I'm only going to review half because I don't have much time, but if you want I can do the rest later.

Grammatical Etc. errors:

quickly widened my eyes

You accidentally switch to past tense here.
a talked for hours when

Again you go to past tense.
Mom said she would take Jack

And again.
hang up on the phone

You should take out on.
before I can and

Before she can? what? open it?
to my with her phone to

My should be me
pocket on the

Would be better is on was of.
was quiet and long, as soon as we got there I stepped out of the car and grabbed my bag I looked up and on Sandra’s deck I saw

PAST TENSE!
quickly rushed down her stairs and hugged me tight. “Too…..tight….Sandra!” I tried talking with no breath.

PAST TENSE!
Now this is what saved my life.

Huh? This is confusing.
Sandras mom is

You forgot an apostrophe.
“ Wait what?”

Get rid of the space.
shushed us before we could finish because Scott was approaching

PAST TENSE!
my little sister should be coming over with my mom soon, I was wondering if you could offer to look after her while me and my mom go get groceries for dinner?

Run on. Try ended at soon and starting a new sentence. Also take out offer to.
pies in

Pie shouldn't be plural.


Descriptions: You could definitely add a little more here. Try describing some character's their hair color etc.

Overall this really funny and entertaining!

Good Luck and Keep Writing

Sláinte -Junel

ok, thank you for the reveiw. I will make sure to fix some of those problems.



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