Jonathan

( I was wondering who that person was standing in the dark. I was helping clean up at the track before. I came closer to see who it was and ...

(that was hard to do seeing I had bitten my nails right to the bed out of boredom) Hmm that sounds wrong (I had bitten my nails so much that ...

How dose all of the ink and stuff git strewn all over the place?. It Might be better to say what she is doing in the beginning. (her grandmother put ...

(Whom should I complain?) OK (To whom should I complain?) Might be better. (Why high is the flame?) (How high are the flames?) I think might be better. I think ...

Who said ((what?)) up there when his conversation up there with Sarah. (Are you in?) Might be better than (you in?) (She said) might be better than nothing. (“Come, na! ...

Ninety nine might be to big. What kind of an (Elysium) do you mean. What do you mean by (the false flesh). Hmm well this was interesting but some of ...

Maybe not stars. It seem that there would be a lot of sound of all those animals and thing falling of the edge of the world and I dont see ...

In here you made some of these paragraphs to big. I have no idea what war you are talking about. (and one can decide for themselves.)I am not quit sure ...

The way you say (The human) its almost as if you aren't one that is my opinion it may not count for much but still. What do you mean made ...

That don't make any sens That a bullet shot at you wont kill you. Why is there a (simply) up there. Well if you want to impress someone i would ...

What does ibd mean. Why would you hold on to insanity. Hmm too might not be the best word for this poem. Where are the black feathers coming from there ...

I am not sure about the other selves but it makes it a little spooky. And the (will she vomit facts and causes)sound really strange but more spookier. (but I ...

(a well calculated schedule which implied to get out of the house and to come back at precise hours) It seems that (to come back at a precise hour) would ...

OK most rich people that I have not had wooden porches but then again I have not met many rich people. (And walked across the wooden porch) might be better. ...

I think it is very nice if it is a description of what happens when the lights go out but normally when that happens to me I just run for ...