Into Oblivion

Maybe not stars.

It seem that there would be a lot of sound of all those animals and thing falling of the edge of the world and I dont see how they would get there.

What dose (set on empty) mean.

(Into the End) hmm not sure about ((into) the end).

Very strange but interesting.

Keep writing and good luck.

Hello there Jack! Dogs here with your review today! Well this is a lovely piece of poesy you have here . I myself greatly enjoy the free verse formatting from time to time. Anywho, in this post I'm going to focus mostly on the grammar and flow aspect of your writing. Which typically go hand and hand, with good grammar usually comes good flow in poetry. Of course, not always, but it adds in a nice air of smoothness to your writing. Let's dive in now shall we?

"All around me things are falling
like a constant river
washing a menagerie into nothingness"

Excellent use of the word "menagerie" here. Well done with these first couple of lines. Although, grammar wise you need a grammar after "falling," another after" river," and a period after "nothingness."

I really love your imagery all around in this poem, but I think you should do a little bit more description of everything falling, perhaps link it to something similar to a waterfall? If not describe the dark void that everyone is doomed to drop down to. The whistling of their downfall whizzing past the narrator's ears. Something to add a little more imagery to this piece.

Every time you do the short lines and start a list of something, you need a comma after every single line and a period on the last of the list.

All and all this is a lovely poem, I enjoyed reading it. An interesting topic to expand upon but well done in the execution. I love you writing and I hope to see more of it! Let me know if you ever need a review. Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh