Young Writers Society

I liked how you describe the process that the human eye goes through to see or try to see in the darkness.
It is so true how we are afraid of what we see when there is no light, everything becomes scary and weird and we want light to see things clearly.

I liked how you created suspense and described the hung clothes. I actually thought it was going to be a creepy person or something!

I really enjoyed your story, you are very talented.

"What lurks in the darkness is not visible"

Howdy Able! Dogs here with your review today. A couple quick notes about this line, firstly I think you should use a different descriptor instead of "not visible." Perhaps "invisible" "hidden" or "veiled." Whatever works for you. Also, you've used "lurk" as a descriptor in the previous line, try editing it out with a better and more image inducing word. If you're having troubles finding a good one, look it up in the thesaurus.

"We are often afraid of what we cannot see; yet we are afraid of what we see when the lights go off"

Nice point, good potential in that idea. I think if you wanted to make this bit stronger you could add in a quote or a mention to Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde. In his famous line of where there be darkness we fill it with monsters.

I really like how you use the description of the stationary object turning into a beast. I think that you can really push that idea and describe it more. The beast leaping out from a horror movie, a demon from hell with bloating skin and drooling from his rotting lips.

Now you're incredibly contradictory in the last two lines, because if you know that you saw the beast in the darkness (even though it wasn't there) that that the "what you see is what was there" doesn't make sense. Perhaps, to alleviate confusion, in that last line you could say: "what you think you see, was never there." Whatever works.

I enjoyed reading this piece, all and all incredibly well written as usual. Always love your writing my friend! Let me know if you ever need a review. Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh

I love the all atmosphere you created , and I think the impression you describe using the light/darkness comparison is something we all felt at least once in our life. I think you are very talented. I dont know what to say except keep on going it's nearly flawless.

I think it is very nice if it is a description of what happens when the lights go out but normally when that happens to me I just run for my life if I think I see something.

But if it was a prologue for a book it could have been better..

Very nice grammar and nice spelling to Keep writing and good luck..