Jonathan

Hello Scandalouphoenix. Here I am for a review I hope it helps. :) (One of billions on His Earth.) Who is "His" in here. Hmm this doesn't really make to ...

Hello sam123 here I am and I have got a little review for you, I hope that this helps you. :D Well I think You need to make your paragraphs ...

Hello Sherlock I have got you a small review for you, I hope it helps you. :D Hmm no offense to you but the rimes in here don't rime super ...

Hello Hibiscus I got a small review for you here I hope it helps.:) I think your writing might look better without being so thick. And another thing that might ...

Hello Swarnima I hope you like it here at YWS. :) I really do like this short piece of writing you might be right here but maybe not. Any way ...

I am not sure what you mean here by (are you a crushed skull) or the (Or are you the Hammer?). And I don't see the point of it is ...

(Kevin’s offered her his hand and pulled her close) What exactly dose this mean (Kevin's)? (“Why do I see this gleam in your eyes looking out for someone?”) know how ...

(And even if you me it's okay) I am not quit sure what you are trying to say here. Sum of the words in here dont make sens to me ...

OK this is definitely original and extremely interesting I really like this kind of poem. But these things that rime they sound a bit wrong some don't really stick like ...

The rime is amazing and interesting I really wish I could write a poem this good but I am treble at rimes and stuff but the worst is that I ...

(Set gazing hopelessly) might be better than (Set gazed hopelessly) It seams that if she were all beat up she would have blood stains on her dress. If when you ...

(Soaked with dust) this sounds wrong maybe this would do better although I am not very good with poetry rimes well here (Covered with dust) It may not have been ...

How dose blood git into the food since her wound is raped up. Know I am not sure of the point that you wrote it but I think that it ...

I know what you mean by not able to get past the prolog I can know but I can't show my work without fearing what other people will think of ...

You need to make your paragraphs smaller. OK you cut of to abruptly here. Sorry but this is not making any sens to me. (I have two Mons) what is ...