Jon

And I said, " I must be dreaming. " You need dialogue marks around "I must be dreaming." Those eyes, that hair and his perfect smile. Comma after hair. ‘till ...

Of course I will! First off, Gold Star ! epic failure, I find it is Epic Failure? :lol: For this poem, adna, that brings up so many thoughts and deeper ...

Emotions teem and tangle, crossing wires with buried - Maybe you could add 'crossing wires' to the second line? teem and tangle are good descriptive words but something isn't quite ...

Let me start off-----> :D Okay, This poem reminded me slightly of "Romeo and Juliet" actually, more than slightly. On to the reveiw: Two lives became one. This stops the ...

The Way's aways away from tomorrow but we're a step closer today The Way's aways away from tomorrow but closer than yesterday The Way's aways away form forever but forever ...

Hey Heather! Seems like you have no reviews, I'll fix that. :D Scarce years before, I came this way, when infernos crunched the rubble rings Heather! I love this imagery, ...

Hey Evan, It's Jon. The darkness came, passed, and went away stealing not a second today The flow is really halted here, try adding more words to the second line. ...

By the time I got back to my place, it seemed as if she was done with throwing up for the night. She looked more lucid and I wanted to ...

Here as promised! Its Jon by the way! Nit-Picks I saw an embarrassed look on Sera’s face. “Ummm…the car kinda won’t start.” Why would she be embarressed? Tell me. My ...

Here as requested! Its Jon by the way. Okay, most people have focused on grammar so I will do everything else. In the beginning when the fight scene was going ...

Haven't reviewed your poetry in a while! First off, *Gold Star* I enjoyed reading this very much, It kept me interested the whole way through. In the fourth stanza you ...

Hey DK, allow me to help you! :D Okay, this poem didn't really seem like a poem to me. It was enjoyable to read and i did like it but, ...

Hi, WriteWhatIWant! You're my first critique in a couple of weeks! Here it goes. :D The best thing in the world The number one reason of suicide I've read over ...

I always wanted what you had; stealing down the shadow-ways to snatch at - discarded bottle caps. I Think i get the bottle cap thing, you mean you always wanted ...

Let's explore the ocean of our soul, I think it would sound better, and help with the flow if it was, "Let's explore the ocean's soul." I really liked this, ...