JohnLocke1

Hello, my friend. First, I think you improved greatly upon your protagonist. If those sort of inner monologues had been more aplenty in your first chapter, I would have felt ...

Hello, my friend. First, I noticed your other chapters in the Green Room and decided to read the whole thing so that I could review the one that was in ...

Hello, my friend. First, you are a fantastic writer. You've managed to create a world for me that I can see and feel. It was quite impressive to read. Thank ...

Hello, my friend. First, let me tell you that I am rather useless at reviewing realistic things. I prefer to live in the realm of the fantastic. But alas, I ...

Hello, my friend. First, if you want a review with sentence by sentence analysis, please message me. Otherwise, this will be a broad review of content, style, characterization and such ...

Hello, my friend. First, let me tell you that I believe that the plot is the greatest strength of this piece. Not to say that your writing isn't spectacular. But, ...

Hello, my friend. First, a purely structural comment, you must chop up these paragraphs. They go on far to long. Readers grow disinterested when they cannot finish a paragraph in ...

Hello, my friend. First, wonderful poem. Short, meaningful and truthful. I don't like when poems try to be something that they aren't. I'm not a poet or anything, but I ...

Hello, my friend. First, although this is short, I feel like a very promising story could be made from this shell. Second, I do not know if this is a ...

Hello, my friend. First, I have absolutely no idea about all of the nitty-gritty of poetry. Therefore, you will have to wait for a more intelligent person than myself. Have ...

Hello, my friend. What can I say. Honestly. I usually have a list of things in my mind. Even just to help a bit. But this piece is so different. ...

Hello, my friend. First, I don't really focus on grammar, but everything seemed fine to me. I'm sure that someone far more intelligent than I will find something grammatically incorrect. ...

Hello, my friend. First, I do so enjoy your writing style. You are dramatic and forceful; you do not play around. You jump straight to the point. You seem to ...

I loved the first two sections of your poem, but the very last section, you lost me. It seemed less emotional than the rest of the poem. And also, I ...

My general impressions: I enjoyed this poem immensely. It was simple. It was to the point. It was truth. Truth and beautiful often come hand and hand, so you have ...