Chapter 2 - Something Fishy
They must have been staring at each other for a long time, because his eyes seemed to hypnotize her. Putting her in a trance that glued her feet to the ground. She wasn't quite sure why she wasn't already running for her life, but something was keeping her there, staring at this animal as he stared right back. Though she was one hundred percent sure this was a wild dog, there was something off about him. Something almost human behind his cerulean orbs, and it made her less afraid in his presence.
Setting her bag down on the snow so she didn't seem intimidating, Kayla took two, slow steps backward. The wolf watched her with curious eyes, but stayed as still as a statue.
"That's it," Kayla whispered. "Just stay there, boy. I don't want any trouble." Her heart was pounding a mile a minute, she didn't know if this animal would pounce or not.
She had never really given much thought as to how she would die, but getting eaten certainly never came to mind. She wondered how it would feel. Slow, painful most likely. Having to live through the agonizing feeling of having sharp teeth sink into and tear your flesh apart. Having to wait until your body went numb, and bled out, leaving you to stare into nothing as your vision faded to black. The thought was scary enough, and for a moment, she felt like crying. But there was no time for that.
In an instant, he was dashing in the opposite direction. He left Kayla there, blinking after him. Talk about near death experience. She watched him as his white figure disappeared behind the woodland trees. She had to take a moment before reaching down to pick up her bag. Slinging in over her shoulder, she let out a big sigh before starting down the pathway again. She didn't know what that was about, but she was glad to be alive.
Her eyes darted in every direction all the way home.
***
She came home feeling relieved, and not only did she absolutely revel in the warmth of her safe home, but she embraced it more than she ever did before. She was glad her family didn't notice how flustered she was, or the interrogation would never come to an end.
"Have you decided what you want for your birthday?" Asked Kayla's mother, as the family sat down for dinner. The question threw her off balance a little, since she was so caught up in her thoughts. She had forgotten all about her birthday, even if it was only three days away.
"An intelligent unicorn that'll write all my papers for English." She answered jokingly, trying to ease her nerves. "Or how about a spaceship to Jupiter?" Her mom rolled her eyes.
"Try something we can afford. Better yet, realistic." The brown haired woman picked up her fork to pop a ravioli into her mouth.
"I don't know," Kayla said. "Maybe a self defense weapon." She didn't know how she was going to broach the wolf subject or if she even wanted to, since she was more than sure her mother would freak.
"Why that?" Asked her younger sister, Emily, speaking for the first time.
"Because," She had made up her mind, and decided that telling them the entertaining story wouldn't be the worst possible thing. She went through every detail: His eyes, his fur, how they had just stared at each other for an eternity, and then when he had just disappeared into the trees, like nothing had happened. Though, her tale was cut short when the startling sound of silverware clanking a plate echoed through the room. She looked to see her father peering at her mother over his glasses. He had this certain expression that matched the older woman's, a look that just screamed 'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'
"Anne," He said her mother's name with such concern, it sounded almost like a warning.
"No," Said her mother, shaking her head. "No, it couldn't be."
"What other wolves do you know wandering around leaving people alive? Our daughter wouldn't be here if it were anything else."
"They only come if they're here, and they haven't been around for years. Besides, many animals leave humans alive, and wolf sightings are common down that trail."
"How can you be so naive?" The two adults continued to converse in a hushed tone. Some of it becoming too hard for Kayla to comprehend. Emily ceased the moment as a chance to whisper to her.
"What are they talking about?" She asked. Kayla gave her a look.
"I'm just as clueless as you are, Squirt." She used the nick name Emily oh, so hated. It originated from the times Kayla used to tease her for being under her height average. 4'9 was short for a thirteen year old.
"Well, I'm just asking, since I'm assuming it's about you." Kayla pondered on that, then turned back to her parents.
"Even if it isn't them," Her father was saying. "-she has to find out sooner or later."
"Find out what?" She finally spoke up. They both looked at her as if they forgot she was in the same room. It was silent for a long moment before it was broken with the sound of her mother's chair scraping the floor.
"Nothing," She answered simply, giving her husband a look. "Nothing at all." Her plate wasn't even empty, but still, she carried it along with her silverware and half drunken glass of lemonade to the kitchen. Kayla's eyes flicked from her mother, to her father, then back and forth again.
"Dad?" She asked, when no one seemed to answer her confusion. He stood up, ignoring her voice. "Dad." Her curiosity was rising.
"It's nothing, Kayla," He said, repeating mom's actions and collecting his plate. "Finish your dinner and get ready for bed. It's getting late." He turned to Emily. "You too, Em." And without another word, he disappeared into the kitchen with her mother.
"Shoulda known better than to ask for a spaceship," Emily snorted. Kayla ignored her and finished the rest of her food in the uncomfortable silence.
***
It was nearly 10 P.M, and Kayla's parents still hadn't come up for bed. She found her parent's behavior to be strange. Although they had always been rather secretive about some things, nothing this weird had ever happened, and Kayla wondered if something bad was coming their way.
After laying in bed for forty, long, boring minutes of staring at her sky blue painted ceiling, she decided to get up to grab a water bottle from the refrigerator. Making her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, she noticed her parents in the living room, talking in the same hushed tone as they did at dinner. Grabbing her water bottle and slowly closing the fridge, she leaned against the dining room wall and listened in on what they were saying.
"I don't see what's wrong with her knowing," Her dad's voice was heard. "It's not like there's a law against it. And she'd be safer, she'd be alert."
"She's sixteen," Her mom said. "She needs to focus on being normal and having a normal life. We don't need to be troubling her with this."
"Normal?" Her dad nearly laughed. "She's not normal, Anne. None of us are, and we need to stop pretending to be people we're not." Kayla bit her lip to send away the tears that were forming.
"You fail to remember that this comes from your side of the family. You brought this on us, and you promised me when Kayla was little that we'd keep this under control. That we'd hide away her... Gift and never speak of it again. Are you trying to expose our daughter, Michael? Is that what you want?" Anne sounded on the verge of crying, just like Kayla was. Michael sighed.
"No," He answered. "I'm just as mindset to keeping her power a secret as you are. It's written in the book, they come under the influence of invasion, and she needs to know. That's my point."
"And she will. But let her finish school at least, let her birthday pass. Give it time. She's got enough on her plate. She's a poor, lonely girl who..." Anne trailed off, beginning to cry. Kayla leaned her head on the wall and closed her eyes in pain. She knew her mother was right, but hearing it out loud made her feel awful. "As if telling her now will make her feel any less abnormal than she already feels dealing with this power. Give her a break."
"Fine," Michael said, just a tad too loud. He lowered his voice a bit. "Fine. But even if we don't tell her, and that encounter she had was who we thought it was, they'll tell her all on their own. You can't keep her from this forever." Kayla crept back up the stairs, not wanting to hear anymore.
There are no words that could describe her confusion, and no one seemed to be giving her any answers any time soon, so she did what she only did in times of desperation.
She went to Emily.
***
Kayla tapped two soft knocks onto her sisters bedroom door. At first, there was no response, so she slowly opened it, an eerie creaking sound could be heard. It was dark in the room, and she saw the outline of a figure on the bed under the covers, though the body's breathing was uneven. To this, Kayla closed the door behind her and flicked on the light.
"You can stop pretending, Squirt," She said. "It's only me."
"Who said I was pretending?" Said the brunette as she slowly sat herself up in bed.
"Please, me and you both know that you don't go to sleep at nine." Kayla crossed her arms and smirked at her. Emily rolled her eyes.
"What do you want?" She asked, clearly annoyed by the intrusion. Kayla sighed as she saw down at the edge of her pink, floral bed.
"Your help." She admitted. Emily's eyes widened.
"Oh God, what did you do?"
"Nothing," Kayla laughed a little. "I hope. Look, have mom and dad been saying anything... Weird about me lately?"
"What do you mean 'weird'?" Em's eyebrow was raised as she gave Kayla a questioning look.
"I don't know. Anything that sounds off. It doesn't necessarily have to be about me, maybe something else they've been acting strange about?" Emily thought for a moment, and when she didn't speak, Kayla continued. "Do you think they'd ever lie to us about something? I mean, they say trust and honesty is the most important thing in a family but... They've been pretty secretive themselves lately." Emily nodded.
"I think I know what you mean," She said. "But it must be something really important if it's worth lying about." Kayla grabbed a nearby stuffed animal, a bunny rabbit with a bow tie, and fiddled around with it's floppy ears.
"They've been having these odd conversations about me. They keep mentioning 'them', but who is 'them'? And they're always disappearing at the most random times."
"You know," Emily piped up. "Now that you mention it, they have been going down to the basement a lot. I saw dad taking a real old looking book with him down there and when I asked him what it was, he said I wasn't allowed to touch it. I figured it was just some valuable scrapbook or something, but the way he said it made it seem way more suspicious."
"An old looking book, huh?" Kayla furrowed her brows together, thinking back to her father's words earlier.
"It's written in the book, they come under the influence of invasion".
"What'd it look like?" Emily closed her eyes.
"Um... It was big. Kinda like a story book. It was brown and had a leather cover. That's all I remember." Kayla nodded briskly.
"Got it. Thanks, Em." She stood up only to be stopped by Emily.
"Kayla? Are you in trouble?" Kayla tilted her head to the side.
"Why would I be in trouble?"
"I don't know," She shrugged, twirling her dark hair between her fingers. "It just feels like something bad is going to happen. Does it have something to do with your powers?"
Kayla stared at her sister, her lips slightly parted. As much as she wanted to agree with that feeling, the last thing she wanted to do was scare Emily. "Nothing bad is going to happen, Squirt." Emily still looked uneasy, but she nodded and let Kayla leave the room.
Kayla couldn't remember the last time she'd seen her usually mature sister act so... Vulnerable. In those last few sentences, she sensed a hint of worry and concern in her voice. It was odd, even for Emily.
She took a deep breath before starting back to her own room. She undressed and laid down in bed, happy to be warm under the covers. There were footsteps coming up the stairs which she immediately knew belonged to her parents. She considered getting up to tell them good night but decided against it, as she was sure she'd only be walking in on more whispering. They acted like gossiping teenager.
Just then, her door creaked open to which she quickly shut her eyes, acting much like Emily and pretending to be asleep.
"Good night, Kayla." Whispered her mother. Kayla wasn't sure if she knew she was faking or not, as Anne only closed the door softly and walked away. Kayla reopened her eyes and let out a sigh.
She had promised herself to never think of this again, but right now, she wanted more than anything to be normal.
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Hi! Cricket here for a review!

XD Since this is the 7th review on this work, I'll try and make it brief and to the point, but still full for you.
My first impression of this, was that Kayla was just too EASY GOING you could say. I for one, would be absolutely livid if my parents starting talking about me, right in front of me! I'd just be LIVID. Boiling with anger, and I'd probably explode. I don't see how she is any different really. I mean, she's probably thinking that she has the right to know this stuff, right? It is after all her life, and her person. Not her parents, and certainly not these strange powers that are seeming to come out a bit more. And if you want to have it to where her parents start talking in front of her like that, then maybe she could react a bit sooner? Personally, I thought she would have reacted after about the first five or six lines. Just my thoughts on that. Reactions versus actions are very important to remember. Especially when developing a character. Hurry up and write the next chapter, btw, as I want to read on. She seems rather lost right now... and I can't just feel sad for her!
Well I thought about this, and reread it over and over, and it just doesn't make much sense! A common expression is usually, going a million miles an hour, but honestly, reading this... it just doesn't make any sense. It's hard to read this way. I'd suggest going for something that seems a little more realistic.
We get that, from your previous dialogue and thoughts. If you want to clarify this further, then show us how she thinks it's weird, but don't just tell us. Telling and not showing is a big no no for writers. Fortunately you don't do it that often, so it's not that big of a deal. Just try and remember that when writing out dialogue, for instance, you have to remember that if you tell your reader something, rather than showing, they won't know that character very well, or as well as they could. It's rather tricky, but it's easy to fix, so don't worry!
This mistake I see fairly often, so don't think it's just you. Unless you're starting a new sentence after an ellipsis, the word after that ellipsis doesn't get capitalized. So "gift" wouldn't be caps.
This line I think was very well done. It felt like a huge bit of character development, and I felt that it was displayed very well. It seemed to bring out whatever feelings she had been feeling, due to that bit of dialogue from her mother. Like she knew she was different, and not particularly popular with her peers, but didn't want to admit it to herself. Opened her eyes to what she might just possibly be. Excellent work!
My only other concern was the way she just walked in, and sat down after being chased by a wolf. Er, sorry? If I'd been chased by something like that, I'd be either inside my parents room grabbing the shotgun, or sitting on my bed, just shaking. As the reader, I would need to relate to this character. Reading this, I can't relate to what she feeling right now. All she is feeling right now, is some betrayal, which I thought was portrayed pretty darn well. But she needs to feel fear from the wolf hunt, or else it's all for nothing. If you have something that is important, then draw it out using whatever sources you have. For instance, you could have dragged it out, with more description and thought process. There wasn't much description, and very little thought process in my opinion there. So yeah, I would suggest dragging that out and making it more authentic.
Overall, this was very well done. XD As you can see, I had a very hard time nitpicking this, and post the next chapter soon! I can't wait to read what happens next, and I'm not kidding. I'm super curious to find out what happens next!
Keep writing, and apologies for writing such a short review!
~Cricket
Thank you for your advice! You're actually the first person to review on this chapter. Thanks again!
Hello again!
This is going to be a short review since you have gotten so many already.
So, at first I thought this was a little long for me, so I wondered if I was going to bear reading this, since I have already read a lot today.
As I start reading, I get really hooked, and suddenly I've read the whole thing!
This chapter was probably one of the most interesting works I have read here. The sentences were great, and you had a nice flow.
I noticed a few grammar mistakes, but those are already mentioned.
One thing I would have changed;
These two sentences. You used smiled in both sentences, which can be okay. To me, it felt a little strange to read it aloud. I think the reason is that you've used two adverbs right after each other.
The second thing is in sentence number one. ''..Emily at the window.'' We have not heard about Emily before, so this would sound more right;
I would have done both sentences like this;
You have a great potential into making this an awesome story, just keep on writing these good chapters.
- Zontafer
Hello, my friend.
First, I think you improved greatly upon your protagonist. If those sort of inner monologues had been more aplenty in your first chapter, I would have felt the character to a greater extent. But this chapter, I felt like I knew Kayla better. She even reminds me of someone I hold dear, so it was a great laugh for me, as well.
Second, the scene with the family was great. It gave insight into their lives, gave a little exposition and gave a quick respite from the drama of the first chapter. However, I felt the "Uncaring Parent" Trope beginning to develop. Her mother seemed completely uninterested in the fact that her daughter had just been chased by a wolf. No matter what kind of person this is, when you are chased by a giant wolf and burst into your house, you are scared for your life. What happened when she came home? She just sat down for soup? Give us some insight. The big chase seemed too quick and description-less. Her mind didn't seem focused on being chased by a giant wolf. Very strange As soon as fantasy becomes unrealistic, it loses its power. These are real people, allow them to act as such.
Third, this:
"...and you feel like you’re limbs are going to freeze and fall off."
I do not usually focus on grammar, but it would be your. Sorry.
Fourth, I read Teen Werewolf Romantic Fiction. Yes, I know. But I consider Nightshade to be one of the greatest books ever written and Shiver is always beside my bed in case of a scary storm. Do not fall into a overused plot. I haven't read on, but I want to see something different. Be different.
Overall, I am still excited to read on. I just do not want you to fall into a overused plot line. Your writing is fantastic, so I want to see it used to its fullest extend. I will continue to read. Happy Writing!
Thank you for your advice! I have gotten other comments talking about how they feel that Kayla's mother was a little careless in the story. I didn't intend to make it seem that way. I guess I was just a little careless considering that her mom doesn't exactly play a big role in the story. Also, her actions sort of explain themselves in the next few chapters. But I assure you I will work hard on making each and every other character important and cared about. Thanks again!
Hi again, Sarah!
Okay, so I think again the descriptions here were really good and to a good length. I also liked how we learnt more about Sarah and about her family. It was interesting to see more about what she's like and what she has to deal with. It gives her more dimensions as a character, so the readers will perhaps like her more.
I'll start off suggestions with a quite typo/spelling error:
From the last chapter, I was expecting some sort of scary chase scene with the wolf. It's cool that you've decided to not have the wolf chase her, but at the beginning of the chapter I still don't think she seems scared enough. And this links in with what i mentioned in the previous chapter with her thoughts and stuff, really elaborate with her interior monologue about how she's feeling. Do wolves appear a lot around there? Because she just doesn't seem scared enough.
Because just before this Kayla was questioning why the wolf hadn't chased her, this bit of dialogue seems a bit forced, like she was waiting for someone to ask this.
Lastly, I feel like the mum should be more concerned with Kayla and her wolf-encounter. I'm not sure if her mum thought that she was making it up or just generally didn't care? I think this part needs to be explained better, because I'd expect the mum to be really worried and ask more questions about it rather than just shrug it off.
Overall, again, this is great! I hope this review helped, and feel free to ask me any questions!
Keep writing,
~ArcticMonkey x
Thank you very much for your advice! It's always appreciated. But by the way, the main character's name is Kayla. Sarah is MY name. Haha thank you again though!
This is a great chapter, that leaves the reader questioning what will happen next. This is a very good chapter, and I love the fact that you pulled in the history about her dad into it. It crates a more familiar tone and pulls at the heart of your reader, and the fact that they are still pulling themselves from his death shows how much death can rock a family. The part with the returning of the hat is good, and it well written. I love the part with Luna.
Hello there SARAH! Welcome to YWS! I am here to review. Also if you have trouble with reviews yourself just ask one of those people who are special colored. I don't know if they are called moderators or admins but anyways they would be happy to help.
The only mistake I noticed is one I noted of grammar but it has already been noted before. Consider me impressed. I'm not trying to stereotype but typically newbies make mistakes until they actually learn more about writing.
Well I don't have much to review. I'm done here. Good job and keep writing!
~lost
Hey SARAHJO!! Silver here to review for you!!



First of all I have to say that I've really enjoyed what I've been reading so far. This chapter especially has a fullness to it that I really like. Overall I feel that I can relate to Kayla and that I get a good idea of who she is.
So down to business:
"Oh please God, I thought. If you can hear me I’ll live!"
I found this expression worded a little weirdly, maybe try something like: "Oh please God, I thought. If you can hear me please let me live!"
"Really Kayla? How do you imagine something like that?"
I feel that this might benefit from being in italics.
“He always said he’d be the one to take you to a dance. He said that he would beat the crap out of the boy who asked you to prom and how he’d stand up to object in your wedding,” I smiled at this. That was so dad. "
I love this. It's really cute. The whole "object at your wedding" really lightened it and stopped him from looking like a clingy dad. Nice touch.
As I said I really like your story. I get a sense of the setting, the characters and the plot. I flows really well and your grammar and descriptions are great. Keep it up! Happy writing!!
Silverlock