The Reincarnation of Juliet Capulet and Romeo Montague

by Kanome

Published December 30, 2013

12+

In Fanfiction

As I opened my eyes, the sun beamed against my small, brown pupils, making me flinch from the beaming light. A woman came into my room, filled with ivory tiles, a queen-sized luxurious bedding with two red curtains hanging from the top of the carvings of pillars, also made of ivory. The woman sat down in a wooden chair that was next to an end table made out of polished marble that showed pictured of my parents. My step-parents, Sir and Lady Capulet.

"Ahh… good morning, dear." The woman spoke in a soft-spoken tone. More like an elderly voice yet at the same time, angelic.

"Where are mother and father, Nurse Grenna?" Nurse Grenna is my most trusted friend and the most motherly of all. Her hair was smooth as spider silk and her eyes shined brightly like a bird's view of the ocean seas. Her figure was slim, almost like a young adult in her late twenties and early thirties. Her hair was grey and so were her eyebrows that had little wrinkles on her lightly red cheeks as she smiled at me, showing her perfectly white teeth. "Your mother and your father preparing your feast for you, Princess Alexandria." I sighed softly as I sat up on my bed, my long black hair all curled on the ends of my hair, and I smiled at Nurse Grenna. "Just call me Alex, Nurse Grenna. No need to be so formal." Alexandria Capulet. I never liked the name, even though that was what my step-mother named me. My name had a meaning, 'New Beginnings.' That's what my mother said to me when I was just a little girl. Today… today is my sixteenth birthday, meaning the beginning of womanhood. There was a knock on my door then the person who knocked on my door entered the room with a huge grin on his face. "Father… what is it?" I slipped out of my bed, my feet against the tiles as the cold sensation shivered throughout my body. "I came to see how my princess was doing. Ah…" Father wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder as he closed his eyes, thinking. "My little girl is going to be a woman. So, daughter, how do you feel?" I looked at my father as I thought about his question. How do I feel, you ask? How does Princess Alexandria truly feel?

"It feels great, father." I smiled at him and pressed my lips against his soft cheek, kissing it gently and lightly. "Father, I must ask you something… strange." Ever since my tenth birthday, my father told me that I was an adoptive child, that my biological parents abandoned me on the day I was born. Obviously, father knew my biological parents, or in some way, connected to them. "My real mother and father… who were they?"Father's smile slowly turned into a frown as I asked my question. His eyes were filled with sadness as he turned and walked out of my bedroom. I lowered my head in guilt, wishing that I had never asked that question. "Well… let's put on your outfit, shall we, Princess Alexandria?" Nurse Grenna held up the most elegant dress I have ever seen. I slowly put the dress on as the dress puffed out in a shape of a bell after it passed my hips. My breasts were barely shown on the torso part of the dress. The color of lavender sparkled throughout the dress as I stared into the mirror, smiling at the way the dress appeared upon my body. "You look so beautiful, princess."I turned and smiled at Nurse Grenna as she sat me down in a chair and began running a hair brush though my hair gently. "Nurse… why does father seem upset every time I ask about my parents? My real parents I mean?" Nurse Grenna kept brushing my hair as silence stood upon the bedroom. I just sat there quietly as Nurse Grenna positioned my hair into one large braid and tied a white ribbon around the top of my braid, making it into a bow. "There, sweetie. You're all ready." I smiled sadly at her as I stood up from the stool I was sitting on and looked at the clock right above the mirror. "I would like to go explore the town… let father and mother know." I slipped on my white heels and walked out of my bedroom, into the halls and entrance way of the Capulet Kingdom. There was a dirt road path that must go to the town. I've never seen the town before, I only heard about it. The town was always lit every night for parties and drinking, and so much more. At least that's what my father told me. As I reached the town, people stopped whatever they were doing and stared at me, like I am a threat or something. As I kept walking down through the town, people murmured things that made my head wonder with questions, begging for the right answers. "It's Juliet! Juliet Capulet…" One man murmured.

"Don't be a fool! Juliet is dead remember?" A woman murmured back to the man as I kept walking, looking at the buildings.

"Come back here, Montague!" A young man shouted from one of the buildings as a man in a black hood ran from the building. In a blink, the hooded man clashed into me as we both fell onto the harden ground.
"Ugh…" The hood fell off the man's head as he looked at me. My eyes widened as I noticed that the man looked exactly like me, except his hair was shorter than mine."Who ar-?" The young man gripped the hooded man's arms and pulled him up to his feet.

"Got me again, Heroc." The hooded man chuckled softly as he averted his eyes back to mine. "Sorry about that. Me and my buddy, Heroc, were playing a game." The man bowed, with one of his arms across his chest and one of this knees extending to the ground. "My name is Lucio Montague. What's your name, young lady?" This Lucio looked just like me, like my twin. I get the feeling I've met him once before, but I can't recall when.

"Alexandria. Alexandria Capulet, mister Lucio." Lucio looked up into my eyes with a shocked look on his face, like something spooked him. "You're… a Capulet, madame?" I nodded once as he got up on his feet and gripped my arms tightly. I looked up at him, thinking that I am looking into a mirror. "Why is it that you look exactly like me, Madame Alexandria?" I wasn't the only one that noticed the similarity between us, so I was kind of relieved. "I do not know, but… maybe we ar-." A line of knights surrounded me as I heard my father's voice echoed throughout the town. "How dare you get near my daughter!" I only saw Lucio, who stood away from the knights. Something wasn't right about this. Something in my heart, I needed to know who Lucio is. "Father! Wait…" Father seized his shouting and motioned the knights to open a path for me.

"This man… This Lucio. Why does he look exactly like me? I am an only child, right?" My father stood silently as he stared at the ground. "Answer me, father. Please." Father sighed softly as he looked at me then at Lucio. "Both of you come with me. Guards… you are dismissed." As the knights left, Lucio and I stared at each other for the longest time. His eyes were brown, just like mine. His facial structure was just like mine, except that his was more masculine. His hair was the same as mine, except shorter. "You two… let's go. We are going to see the Friar." The Friar? I wondered why father suggested him as we all walked to the town limits. Father then spoke in a soft tone, yet had a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Alexandria… you and Lucio are twin siblings." Twin siblings? That's why he looked exactly like me. That's why it felt like we met before. "Your mother… happened to be my daughter and your father… was the son of Sir Montague." My father… my real father was a Montague and my mother was a Capulet. My step-father is actually my grandfather and my step-mother is actually my grandmother. "Father… you told me that Capulets and Montagues are enemies… so how…?" Father turned to me and placed a hand on my shoulder gently, then released his grip and kept walking. Lucio walked up to my, now, grandfather and placed his hand on grandfather's shoulder. "Sir Capulet, why do you tell us now? Why on our sixteenth birthday? Do you know how much I've wanted to know about my biological parents but people choose to ignore? Sir Capulet, we must know… who are our parents?" Grandfather sighed softly and looked into Lucio's eyes as I stared at them intensely. "Friar will show you." Grandfather pointed up to a church that looked ancient, like it had its own history from a thousand years ago. As we walked inside the church, an old man walked up to us, wearing a white, worn-out robe. His eyes had crow's feet on the edges of his eyeballs and his forehead had three… no… four wrinkles at the top. His lips were cracked and his face was pale. The old man spoke in an elderly cracked voice. "Ah… you look just like Juliet…" I felt my cheeks get hot as I looked down to my feet. Grandfather stood beside me as he smiled sadly at the old man. "Show the kids THEIR graves." Graves? What does he mean by that? The Friar nodded as he motioned me and Lucio to walk with him. Lucio gently grabbed my hand and pulled me slowly as we followed the Friar. I looked around the halls of the church in awe. Pillars around every corner, portraits of Jesus Christ hung on each wall, and the light shined through the glass windows against the chairs in the church. We walked to the back of the church, outside in the grassy field filled with graves of many creatures, out far in the grassy field, was a small building that was sealed closed. "Where are we?" Lucio examined the sealed building as I stared at the Friar, who was looking through a ring of kings. He held up one of the keys and opened the lock that was chained to the door. As the door opened, Lucio and I slowly walked inside as torches were lit throughout the small building. I noticed two graves sitting side by side; one was engraved Juliet Capulet and the other Romeo Montague. "These are your parents. They were in love, but their love was forbidden. They both died from poison, and their love is still intact… but knowing they had children… I'm afraid you must join them… Lucio and Alexandria." Suddenly, I felt a stab within my breast as I coughed up a red substance out of my mouth. I turned to Lucio and noticed he was stabbed within his breast too. I fell to the ground, flat on my stomach as my vision started to blue. Everything turned black and it felt like the world suddenly stopped, like I was gone from the world… forever.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Lucia
Review
Lucia wrote a review Review · Jan 16, 2014

You were very good at describing the scenery and the personality of Alexandria. I especially liked the storytelling. I think you did it very artfully.

There were some things I thought were a bit sudden, such as when Alexandria first meets Lucio, and at first there is some slight surprise on her part. But later, it seems that they are already used to each other's presence in the space of a couple minutes. Maybe you could spend some time on their feelings, maybe making them slightly uncomfortable or something of the sort.
I also don't understand why the friar killed Lucio and Alexandria. There doesn't seem to be any motive. It seems as though Lucio and Alexandria were tailored to be replacements of Romeo and Juliet, and they couldn't fall in love because they are direct siblings. I don't understand why they had to die.

I enjoyed your twist on the tale of Romeo and Juliet.
Keep writing!!

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EmilyLemke
Review
EmilyLemke wrote a review Review · Dec 31, 2013

Hello Kanome,

I love your story and the message that it holds within itself. However, it was hard to hold my attention because it was very confusing. Not the words, because the words were very good. It's the way you organized the story. There should be more breaks in the paragraphs when either a new person is talking and/or the setting or scene has changed. And in your story you didn't really do that, so it made it hard to decipher who was saying what and so on and so forth..


The characters. The characters don't seem like characters. You need to add more characterization in this story. Why do I care about the young girl and her twin brother? I don't right now. But make me have feelings about them. Make me be upset that the characters are killed. Characterization is the trickster in writing a short story. But if you don't have that characterization in it then you can't keep the readers attention. It's the make it or break it in a short story, I believe.


Your detailing is also very good in this story, but you did take the detailing almost a little too far, if you get what I'm saying. The detailing you used would be wonderful for a novel of some sort, but because this is a short story I think you need to bring that down some because in your case the detailing was taking away from the story. There were certain points where I would have to reread a part because the detailing took away from my attention.

Overall: I love where you are going with this story. You just need to edit it over again. And what I do when I'm writing a short story is I write/type it out, and then go through and fix everything. It may seem perfect the first time, but after reading and editing it through two or three times, you realize you had just he basics down. I hope you fix it up and I'll be looking for it.

-Emily

User avatar
JohnLocke1
Review
JohnLocke1 wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2013

Hello, my friend.

First, a purely structural comment, you must chop up these paragraphs. They go on far to long. Readers grow disinterested when they cannot finish a paragraph in a reasonable amount of time. From a writers perspective, it just isn't good stylistically unless the length of the paragraph is specifically required by the story. If it is, then don't listen to me.

Second, I was just confused. It must have been the length of the paragraphs, but I thought that the descriptions sometimes took away from the meat of the story. From what I know, which is limited, short stories must have more action. Your story had action, but it seemed rushed and scattered. The climax of the story came so suddenly that I hardly had any time to enjoy the story.

Third, I found the writing itself to be a bit choppy. If you want a more comprehensive review, you can message me, but I can give you a few examples. "A woman came into my room, filled with ivory tiles, a queen-sized luxurious bedding with two red curtains hanging from the top of the carvings of pillars, also made of ivory." - Also made of ivory? Sometimes, little phrases like that can severely stifle writing.

Fourth, I feel like this could have been drawn out to greater effect. She runs into some guy on the street and then they both die? No, no. I don't care about this young girl. Or her magically twin brother. Even though this is a short story, you have to find a way to make the characterization advanced enough for a reader to care about what they are reading about. It is the true challenge of a short story writer.

Overall, you have a great start. Work with this. Beef it up. Keep me posted. Happy Writing!

TakeThatYouFiend wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2013

This is a good story, with a nice Shakespearean background. Even the title is simple and to the point, making it seem Shakespearean. It was a perfect length, any longer it would ramble, any shorter and it would try to pack too many plot details in.
Your only problem I can find is it is very slightly inconclusive, in that it doesn't explain why, after keeping them alive for 16 years, they kill them now?
Apart from that, very well done.
Take That You Fiend!



Sometimes poetry is inspired by the conversation entered into by reading other poems.
— John Barton