JesusLvr18

I. Love. This. Poem! I've attempted to write something like this when I found out about my kidney disease! No one knows what it's like to be chosen to be ...

Okay, this website won't let be properly display this, so here it is: *Note* I wrote this poem while at my brother's 4-H Livestock Showing Clinic. I didn't have much ...

Ok, first I must ask you this: why is this in paragraph form? If you say it's a poem, it should have stanzas and line breaks to look like one, ...

This is... wow...i'm speechless... Ummm...............well, it was amazing! ...Since this is more a song than a poem, I won't critique you on stanzas and lining........ My only advice: Don't Change ...

Okay, first off, you have an amazing poem! I really am jealous of your imagery skills! This is definantly one of the best i've ever read! Maybe you could work ...

Actually, I really need help on HOW to actually fix the mistakes in this poem. With the two stanzas beginning with "So, (you did something)", I realize they both start ...

I think this could be a poem! Let me try: If I could breathe underwater, I would swim to the very bottom of the very deepest ocean, where humankind has ...

She drifted slowly through the sea holding the key to my heart and when she slowly sank that day it tore my world apart. My ship rocked through the ocean ...

You should try to put your poems in stanzas. Maybe something like this: Trundling down the pathway, bashing into walls. Getting flat tires, watching cement fall. A waterfall of grass, ...

Maybe this would work: Drifting away on a midsummer's night I watched as she passed the seagulls took flight. I tried to warn her but my cries were in vain ...

Yes, the plot doesn't really build off of this, but I thought I should explain how she got to New York. SPOILER ALERT!!! The story actually starts when she helps ...

Very good poem! I enjoyed these stanzas in particular: I wonder if she's listening to me talking when I call. She's worried if she's losing either me or her mind ...

The strange thing is, I'm a heterosexual (that's probably not spelled right) girl writing this. Boys, tell me if this is completely inaccurate. Thanks for viewing everyone! And, also, I'd ...

This is very good! The stanzas are a bit long, though. My favorite stanza is: Sure you have softened the death blow But you only prolonged the tears As I ...

umm... did it not post? Note: What is written beyond this point is completly sarcastic. I love the illusion factor in this story. Or, is it a poem? One will ...