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139,880 Literary Works • 672,712 Reviews
You should break it into stanzas like futurepoetofamerica said. It would really help!!!!!
Love,
Rachel <3
Maybe this would work:
Drifting away on a midsummer's night
I watched as she passed
the seagulls took flight.
I tried to warn her
but my cries were in vain
for she was only a ghost
of the woman I once loved.
I dare not remember
the day it happened
when I told her to leave.
That wasn't a good move.
A knife by her chest
her neck in his hand
I tried to stop my brother
and failed.
She will be sailing forever.
I really like your poem a lot! Maybe we could work on something together sometime! Read my poem A Cruel Trick and PM me on what you think! I really love your style of writing. You just need to work on stanzas and layout, but then again, we all do!
Write On,
~~Heidi~~
Thankyouu I know the layout really annoys me because I set it out like you, it happens with all my poems:'(xx
Grrr it doesnt make sense unless its set out properly someone please help!!x