Incandescence

KdancerE: A fine little rhyming ditty. Nothing serious, but a decently lighthearted attempt. I suggest you drop L7 and L8. In L10, drop "that all." Take care, Brad

Cicero-- You obviously put a fair amount of time into typing this and your response. Let me say, though, that even when this poem is polished, this will be a ...

Gabrielle, The only thing nauseating is this stanza. It does not work as a stand-alone nor will it work in conjunction with anything else. Get rid of it. Best, Brad

pandoraswritings-- This is junk. The "alas, poor me--it's your fault" theme generates no conceivable interest that I can see. Fill out the proper EPA forms and throw this out. Best, ...

kaolin-- You'll notice this is a writing website. Writing incorporates spelling, grammar and structure. This failed on all three acounts. Best, Brad

Trident-- I agree with rosethorn. I love the length; it kept my nausea to a minimum. As a poem, it left everything unturned--no revelations, no thoughtful inquiries. Best, Brad

metritis-- Stop thrashing at the keyboard. The least you could do is manage a half-way coherent poem for us to respond to. That, or you should take up kayaking. Best, ...

ibelieve_inme-- There is virtually nothing to distinguish the current bit of swill from the tidal wave of similar junk that's all over the internet. Sentences of clumsy and ordinary phrases ...

dancing_goth_cat: Dropping L1-L4 is the only solution for this in terms of revision. Best, Brad

Cameron-- While I see the religious theme, I still don't see how this has moved beyond the standard use of religion in poems critiquing/poking-fun-at society. I think the problem here ...

Boys-- While this conversation is worth maintaining in terms of content, this is not the place to do it. I suggest taking your quibble to Poetry Discussion. Thanks, Brad

Dear TheEccentricScribe - You want to write a poem that speaks to you. Your readers want to read a poem that speaks to them, one that opens the possibility of ...

Hi, Jiggity-- I hear the whispers of untold tales: tendrils filling the vessel, waiting to be created. My black blood spills: the womb through which Worlds are born. Hope this ...

Hi sunshine girl - This is a collection of rambling generalities and forced, awkward rhythms, and it has virtually nothing to offer the sentient reader. It cannot be improved by ...

lexy, I can't agree that there is no basis for determining whether a poem is good or bad because of "poetic freedom". Certainly, whether or not one likes or dislikes ...