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Re: Meaningless
This is nice. I like your imagery here and could see them in my head. Is the lack of capitalization a stylistic choice? The one thing I had a compliant ...
Nov 3, 2011 -
Re: Alien Rooms
I like the rhythm in this. It had a very nice flow. It made me want to say it aloud, but as it's 2:30 a.m here, that would be a ...
Oct 22, 2011 -
Re: Let Go
I like this! I'm a little confused by what's going on though. I get the sense that something happened to their relationship, but I can't tell what happened. I do ...
Sep 29, 2011 -
Re: Invade My Heart
I like it. Just watch out for typo's. I think there might be one on the very last line. I'm glad you remembered to have proper punctuation in your poem, ...
Sep 25, 2011 -
Re: Farm
This is nice. I like the imagery and the rhyming. I especially liked the fact that you had proper punctuation. My only complaint is that it doesn't look that good. ...
Sep 20, 2011 -
Re: Canoe Tritina
I like your poem. Unfortunately, I don't know anything about the style, but I did like the imagery you used. Your descriptions made me feel as if I was doing ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: A Life All My Own
I liked this. You really make the character come alive. However, I noticed some minor problems with your piece. (See below) It's my day, my time. Standing in front of ...
Aug 7, 2011 -
Re: whimsy
I like it! One thing. To me it seems like one giant sentence. What happened to the commas and the period? Was that intentional not to have them? I loved ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: Delusion
This is interesting Jasmine. But I was a little confused about this wording. She was tired, her body still weak from Pennsylvania, her head aching from where it slammed against ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: dismantle the sun [1]
I like this. It has a nice rhythm to it and it sorta reminded me of The Giver for some reason. One thing though, I couldn't really get a sense ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: Fallout
I love this imagery. I'm glad you used proper punctuation in your poem, not many people do. I am confused as to what the poem is meant to be talking ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: Balloon
This is poetic. I like the format of the poem. I think it works for the poem. There were two things that I didn't understand though. I still get butterflies ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: Favorites Hurt
This was an interesting poem. One thing though. It's not one large sentence. Please, put periods at the end of your sentences. Poems are just like prose; they need punctuation ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: The Hills Song
It rhymes! This was a nice, short, poem. Now I am wondering what happened to the speaker. This 'cause now my knee kills. sounded a little odd to me though. ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: Deserted
I like the fact that you used proper punctuation in your poem. Not many people seem to be doing that...Good job. However, I do not like this part though. runs ...
Mar 27, 2011
