Published March 18, 2011
Coldness in my heart and
dullness in my thoughts.
My soul is trapped in the
memories that are far gone.
Emotions elude me, feelings
are going numb.
My spirit cries out for
it's freedom.
The darkness is my
loneliness.
Deep despair and cold
desperation, runs thru
my entire body.
I am left alone with
my own isolation
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Canary word: Present
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140,548 Literary Works • 673,420 Reviews
What a beautiful poem.. emotional poems always seem to help the reader understand the author's point putting all
his thoughts together in one single poem.
Hi, Shadow here. First, I agree with Idraax about the word "thru". It would make your writing seem more mature, not like a 13 year old wrote it, but like a 17 year old wrote it. I think this is rather unique, and it draws a picture in my head of what your talking about--being deserted. 'Like'. Great job and keep writing! If you need anything else reviewed, please PM me and let me know, I'd be more than happy to take a look at it.
~Forsakinshadow~
I like the fact that you used proper punctuation in your poem. Not many people seem to be doing that...Good job. However, I do not like this part though.
Can you spell out through please? It'll make your writing look much better. This sentence needs a period at the end of it. Otherwise, it was a very good poem! I look forward to seeing more from you! Keep writing!I love you poem it's so emo