Hannah

Hi, GPG! Here's the one thing that's weird about this poem for me: you keep switchin' up the rhyme scheme. In the first stanza of this, it's nice and straight ...

I'd first like to say that it's odd that you're using one American stereotype to try to disprove another American stereotype. You play off the perception of North Korea as ...

Hey! I figured I'd back track here, to hopefully help you with editing and encourage you to post your next part. c: What's surprising is you start with something I ...

The one thing I'd like to mention about this poem, is that it's scraping the edges of something very philosophical. You want to capture that fleeting moment where you realize ...

I like this experiment in perspective. Thinking about the whole history of a child's life in one letter is a broad thing to tackle, and I think you've got a ...

Ahhhhh. I was so confused by the idea of "you're getting cold", but it got to me at the end. I am wondering if you need to be so obvious ...

Woah! This poem is all over the place. It moves from one train of thought to another, not notifying us of the switch, but getting there anyway. At the beginning ...

I don't think I happened upon this poem when it was first posted, so I can't see the difference between then and now, but I do like what you're doing ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS~ Hope I get this done in time to be your first reviewer, and that after you soak up all the help you can stand, you ...

I like the intent. I like the playfulness in this piece as well. I like what you were trying to do and the way you tried to do it, but ...

Hey, FrenchRose! Welcome to YWS and congrats on submitting your first work. Be sure to get out there and review others, too. You might find these articles on critiquing to ...

Please don't ever feel nervous about requesting a review. D: I love reviewing, and I hope when I do it's helpful, so why should you feel nervous about wanting help ...

Hmm, is this finished? It seems like a very awkward place to leave off a story part or a chapter. Nothing's even happened yet. We have very shallow introductions of ...

What's awesome about this is that your rhymes are fairly subtle, so they work well. You also choose words and phrases that describe the situation with emotion and in ways ...

Hey, and welcome to YWS. Be sure to explore and post some of your own reviews once you get the chance. Let me dive into this piece, though. Three young ...