Hey there leaseal
After reading this through, I could tell you're real problem was your spacing. I mean your grammar was bit off here and there, and you missed a period or comma once in a while, but you really just didn't hit that spacebar enough.
So I'm not gonna comment on anything that just needs to have a space, I'll let you sort that our for yourself.
There should be a period after 'yesterday'.
'Did' should be lowercase.
Put 'and' in front of this.
Comma should be on the other side of 'but'.
Comma after 'you'.
Capitalize 'i'.
Capitalize both 'son' and 'i', and put a comma after in between.
Uppercase 'how'.
Comma after 'stomach'.
That should be 'itself'.
Comma after 'son'.
Comma after 'could'
Comma after 'man' and 'son'.
And the rest was fine.
You did a great job writing a touching letter from a father to a son, it's just how you wrote it that wasn't done too well. It would only take a bit of editing for you to fix something like this, and I'm sure you'd be able to to do it.
Keep on writing
Points: 5211
Reviews: 184
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