Gwenevire

Hello Mallory ^^ Nice work! I really like how different this is, especially the squishing butterflies! It really paints a nice picture in my mind, yet I'm not quite clear ...

Prepare yourself hon! As the storm raged lighting illuminated the rickety dock i sat on. This sounds wrong. You need to reword this. Let se what I can do... I ...

I have never really been fond of love poetry, it has so much feeling that we are so disconnected from it. We don't feel for any of the character, so ...

ello Zilly here is my promised crit. The smooth glass was cool against my cheek and my steamy breath was melting the crystals that stuck to the window. I would ...

ello darling :) The world seemed to be holding its breath I kind of find that hard to read, the world ain't breathing... So why would it hold its breath. ...

ello dear :) The wolves howled from the wooded depths of the Terracordula Mountains, Just after 'howled' I think it would be perfect to put some description about how they ...

ello Camille :) I watch the crimson luminescence filter through the trees in a state of calm rapture; Mentioning this once, Motes of dust dance in the shafts of light ...

ello Reak :) they would have taken me off life support and I would not be here now. let me help you with the end. it should be: I wouldn't ...

Hey. He kissed me on the forehead and left. Mummy burst into tears as the door slammed shut and we heard the car drive off. And just like that, Daddy ...

That was beautiful. I am sorry I could not pull out any flaws, I am no good with poetry. But I can tell you what I liked :P I like ...

Hello. She could hear Tom in next room listening to loud music and singing along out of tune. I think you could put "out of tune" in brackets. The breeze ...

Hey Aed. “Milkman!” He turned round, to see a tall figure, wearing a dark red T-shirt running towards him, carrying a rolled up newspaper. Milkman flinched a little before responding. ...

Hey, Meg! Isabelle woke up What does she look like? What does she do? What is she thinking? with her arms realized and her mouth to be opened. #1. Released ...

Hey, Meg! a hissing voice came from behind the paper bark maple I like this, paper bark... Its so southing. "Speak to me, tell me what I’ve done wrong, tell ...

I've always wanted to try and write a love story from a girl's perspective. Let me tell you: it's been amazingly hard. I've tried to incorportate as much girly stuff ...