GryphonFledgling

I really liked this. Well, to jump in on the debate that seems to have begun: I don't think that it was cliche. And please do use capitals. BBB's edited ...

Saint caught the grammatical errors, so I won't repeat. Wow. This was great. I was seriously confused about halfway through, but I stuck it through. Then the twist at the ...

Daaang. This was amazing. Your first sentence, which is almost a disclaimer, drew me in. This was a bit of an info-dump, but since it is the beginning, I think ...

A voice that sounded very much like her father’s urged s he quickly to use the unconscious man as a shield while she finished off the boar. Another, much like ...

Detectspie Nathan Fondue yawned. What is that word at the beginning? *is confused* These days were very special to Nathan, and he circled each one on his calendar. What days? ...

It's been another late night at school . (period) D ark is already flooding the world at five o ' (apostrophe) clock. Detention is finally loosing its grip on me ...

I liked the remote control metaphor, but it really doesn't fit into the rest of the poem. It would be great if you incorporated it into the poem more, having ...

Yazra tucked her new journal into a pocket hidden in the many folds of her multiple shirts and stood, pushing back the thick, wild, brown curls that framed her thin ...

Well, it looks like everyone else has beaten me to critiquing. Phooey... Anyway, I liked this. It was quite a bit of telling versus showing and you could use a ...

Smoothly do they glide , Smoothly do they set . The stars upon them twinkle ; Infinitely set Dragging forth from wonder Inspirations own true mind- The dreams of thousands ...

A sound that was a crossbre e d between a sigh, a snort and a hiccup erupted from the parent’s lips. And that's all I could find... This was a ...

W here was she? She looked around , (comma) trying to figure out where she was . (period) S he glanced over her shoulder to the girl behind her and ...

Why? Why so many depressing poems? This was a nice poem. I think that the rhythm was a bit choppy though. I really couldn't find rhyme or reason to it. ...

Congrats on updating! This chapter was a bit of an info-dump, but you do it through dialogue, which softens the impact quite a bit. Good call. The only thing that ...

Well, everyone did a bunch of editing and caught what I noticed, so I won’t annoy you with repetition. Plus you already fixed most of it. P1 Question: Did you ...