Griffinkeeper

There isn't more?

er... it's a little short?

Not to bad if English is a second language. Your best bet is to practice it until you start reciting grammar books in your sleep.

Paragraphing: You need to add an extra space to tell us where events begin and end. Not like this. Like this.

I'll do my best to smooth it over as best as I can.

Who is this girl? Her name is Wyoming. What's so significant about where she lives? Jackson Hole? Nothing especially significant. That area just has a special place in my heart. ...

Very well thought out and executed. If you submitted this as a paper, then you should get full credit. I don't understand why some people dislike Mormons, you guys are ...

The second draft has removed many of the kinks of the first one. Characters have been removed, along with their personal traits (presumably shifted to Chapter One). Some minor changes: ...

No offense meant firestarter. No hard feelings?

Why is every single fantasy short end up as a hack 'n slash?

Ohh... she got ghosted. Not a bad prologue, because it doesn't focus on the protagonist. It could be a little longer, or you should follow up with Chapter 1 soon ...

There isn't a formula per se. I just find that it works better for everyone when prologue start us up to the point where the character is.

Put some pants on please. It is a new perspective on Sirens, but really is too short to qualify as a story.

It would so rock to write a parallel story with a gryphon viewpoint in your world. It is really odd, you already have an author ready to write fan fiction ...

Snoink, those were very serious errors, which I will remedy quickly. Darn, now I actually have to be creative with my sarcasm.