Griffinkeeper

Just a note about the font. First, why is the color red? Is this because it's symbolic of something or did you think "hey, I like the color red. Therefore, ...

As always, run spelling and grammar checks. Prologue: A Wicked Pact A hellish gleam sprung from the pages, as if the unusual paper’s very fabric consisted of some otherworldly power. ...

“Welcome.” The king boomed as Thomas entered the room. “Hello.” Thomas nervously replied. He had not been in the king’s presence for quite a while, he noticed, which is why ...

There doesn't seem to be any conflict behind this story. Even the lucid visions don't make up for the fact that it's just some guy wondering about a bird. Then, ...

Age is an excuse, so let's not focus on it. Your writing is good, but it can be much better. I'm sensing that this story isn't so well thought out, ...

This isn't a prologue. This entire thing is showing how all these characters joined up to form this elite group. That would be the LOTR equivalent of the first half ...

All right. You make several mistakes here with regards to writing. Let me just outline a few of them. 1. Emotional Scenery. His tears numbered more than the massive multitude ...

The narrator part might have helped you start writing, but it should get deleted after you've finished. I moved this from non-fiction. Stories are fiction unless they are true. Then ...

I sat on the night shore clutching my body, as the steady plip plop of rain began. Shivering, I rubbed my hands together as I gazed at the sea. This ...

Prologue The night sky glowed with hues of blue and black, as if an artist had painted it, brushstroke by brushstroke. The moon was full and the color of autumn; ...

Oh isn't this just perfect? The author(s) are introducing the characters to us. This piece is doing nothing but showboating. Get to the story already. Let your story introduce the ...

I looked over the prologue. It was pretty good. The dialogue was just right. The only part that seemed over done was the exclamation "Then stay!" Something a little less ...

First off, let me welcome you to YWS. Hopefully you're making your way over to the welcome forum, where you can meet all the wonderful people here. Here at YWS, ...

Gotta agree with Incan. Except for one thing: Leek Speak :?: But yeah, the leet speak in the title makes me want to rain down all sorts of pain on ...

I hope this is a little more informative. A story has some logical progression to it. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end in a story. One of ...