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Re: Funeral
Hi, there. I really enjoyed this piece, as it was an excellent account of a funeral. About six months ago, I went to the funeral of a little girl I ...
Aug 31, 2010 -
Re: I'm Standing
Hi, Crimsona! Hey, for a first poem, this is very good. I like that I can feel what you're trying to express in this poem; that's sometimes difficult to accomplish. ...
Aug 29, 2010 -
Re: Social Phobia
Hi, there! Welcome to YWS! I really enjoyed this poem. It's powerful and well-written and poignant. I loved that there was a rhyme, but I noticed that it wasn't particularly ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: The HallSight
Hi, Maroono! Welcome to YWS! So, I liked the beginning of this story. It's fast-paced and interesting and vivid. The fact that it is written from a wolf's point of ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: I am smiling at you ...
Hi, there. :) First off, I like the statement you're making in this poem; it's a bit injured and defiant and angry, as if the narrator is finally tired of ...
Aug 18, 2010 -
Re: my heart's in the lacquer box
Hi, Jagged. :) My first thought on this poem was that it reminded me of that old myth about the sculptor who creates a statue so immensely beautiful that he ...
Aug 18, 2010 -
Re: PBIS 0.2
Hi! Wow, this is really interesting. I'm curious about the back story and especially Annette's identity. Are she and Selene the same person? Twins? Is it a nickname? Your writing ...
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: Outsmarted - Prologue
Hi, DrowningInDarkness! So, when I read this, I was immediately intrigued. You describe enough of the scenario to make the reader interested, and yet leave much unsaid, so that the ...
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: a description of space and love
Hi! I really enjoyed the language you used in your poem. The first stanza sets a vivid scene in my mind, and, true to your title, it is a description ...
Jul 25, 2010 -
Re: Mannequin
Hi! What I liked especially about this poem was the coherency. I could really understand what the poem was addressing, and thus it was emotionally effective. This line in particular ...
Jul 7, 2010 -
Re: His Living Nightmare
Hi, there. You have a very interesting poem here: it's nice and regular with stanzas of four lines. I felt like you were aiming for an aabb rhyming pattern, but ...
Jun 29, 2010 -
Re: Diana
Wow. This is an absolutely gorgeous poem. The language was lovely, especially fitting for the content of the piece. I thought you started it off very well; the simple statement ...
Jun 29, 2010 -
Re: Freedom Score
Hi! I really liked how your poem flowed. The word choice, line breaks, and general movement reminded me of a performance in a grand hall. :D The only part that ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: The Troll
Hi, there. Let me be the first to review! I liked your description here. The imagery is quite vivid, and you've got a good handle on what you are portraying. ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: A dream for you.
Hi! I really enjoyed the tone you have in this poem: it's wistful and heartfelt, which gives it believability. My general impression is that the someone you're addressing here represents ...
Jun 28, 2010
