Melodies of memories echoing,
sighing through the breeze, scores
of tomorrows that finally came.
A welcome interlude to a depressing
chapter far from grace. Rank up
the orchestra, bring on the finale,
bring on the end, bring on happiness
bring on the joy. End with flourish
end with a bow.
And close the curtains!
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140,610 Literary Works • 673,552 Reviews
Hi!
The only part that bothered me about this poem was the last line. I feel like it's essential to the poem's meaning, and the way the exclamation point lifted the poem up felt like it contradicted the action of the curtain closing. Though that might have been intentional, putting a period there instead and putting that line in its own stanza may make more sense.
I really liked how your poem flowed. The word choice, line breaks, and general movement reminded me of a performance in a grand hall.
Overall, I enjoyed this poem immensely. The metaphor was well-developed, and the emotion was quite tangible. Keep writing!
--Glim
This is beautiful, and makes a lot of sense. I would just like a little more closure when the poem ends, just so it doesn't lose its perspective. But other whys, its perfect. I love it, and you should really keep on writing, because I keep wanting to read more!
Pure genius, I love it!
My only slight thing, would be to change the wording on the last line. Maybe to something like and watch the curtain close, as for me, it seems the last line is in a different perspective to the rest of the poem.
Excellent though
~Retro Disco666