Flemzo

I'm kind of burnt out right now, but I have to say that this poem made me stop and think. In a world of hustle and bustle, it's nice to ...

First off, space out your paragraphs next time. All I saw was a huge block of text, and I wasn't at all thrilled to want to read it. I did ...

As much as I like your "I don't give two craps about what you think" style, guess what I'm going to critique you on. I dont care for the proper ...

First off, this is what the poem would look like with more punctuation (punctuation people can help me out): And on that burning night we stood , While the sky ...

It was... short. I'm still not sure if that's good or bad. It's good, because it's not a lot to read (which is great for my short attention span), but ...

This was very well-written. I can honestly say that I didn't want to stop reading it. However, I did stumble over some of your words. I'm curious as to how ...

At first, I was going to say, "You're repeating your lines exactly". It took me a while, but I see what you did: making the second and fourth lines of ...

Bizarre. This was absolutely bizarre. But I liked it. It was funny, which is always good when you're doing stand-up comedy. I don't like the use of "Greetings, land mammals" ...

Well, I can honestly say I'm hooked. This definitely seems like it could be great. But we'll just have to wait and see. Some things I noticed: "You wouldn't even ...

first off, GREAT first attempt at poetry! if you hadn't said that, i never would have known. my only problem is your ending. I understand the blind/deaf/paralyzed part of it, ...

This'll be a "crit as I read" crit, just because I can organize my thoughts better this way. A monotonous chime reverberated through the second of the upstairs bedrooms. On ...

Pretty good. It kind of falls into that "pity me" category a little bit, especially toward the end, but over all it's pretty good. See me real Or see me ...

Pretty good, I would say. Death has been written about since the beginning of time, but this put a slightly creepy twist to such an old topic. First thing I ...

I can definitely see what you're trying to say here, and I'm sure others will see it if they just concentrate on it a little bit. Once you see it, ...

Ah, yes, Halo 3. A few of my classmates didn't come to school today, which is ironically they day after the midnight release of the game. I don't think any ...