Published November 4, 2007
I dont care for the proper way
I wont use a comma or a period
a poem is a story
a story not so much as a poem
I write what I think
no time to do it correct
I refuse to spell check
lable me anything
judge my ways
I will mever try to be you
writing is my love
I can do it how I choose
you may think Im dumb
you may think Im stupid
its only you for not opening your eyes
opening your eyes to all the different styles
everyone has their own
this just so happens to be mine
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140,924 Literary Works • 673,739 Reviews
As much as I like your "I don't give two craps about what you think" style, guess what I'm going to critique you on.
Period at the end of each of these lines.
Comma after the third line. And I'm confused with what the fourth line is supposed to mean. I'd probably reword it. Maybe:
Something like that.
I find it hilariously ironic that the line after "I refuse to use spell check" has a typo in it. Period after the first and second lines, period after the third, comma after the fourth, and comma after the fifth line, because...
Semi colon after the first line, comma after the second, and period after the third. Also, maybe this could be blended into the stanza above?
Not at all... but you need apostrophes in "I'm"
It's "it's" when it's "it is".
It's "its" when it's possesive.
Comma, period, semicolon, period.
Also, capitals at the beginnings of lines (usually, sometimes it could work without in this poem).
I liked it. Most poems I read are submissive "I hate my life and will bleed forever" poems, but not this one. This one is ready to punch you in the throat if you don't agree. It's a nice change of pace.
I agree. As I read this, I couldn't help but feel that you were accusing ME in particular of berating you for your style of poetry. Which isn't my cuppa' tea, but all the same, you've got a point; everyone writes differently and should be respected for it.
But then again, I freak out when people aren't literate.
This was interesting.
I generally enjoy poems with unique imagery and well, unique themes. This was kind of a random blurb, no offense or anything...
Anyways, don't be discouraged by my rather discouraging review. Keep writing!
-Ayra
Clever. You used this poem to basically tell everyone why your poems might not make sense grammar wise. But I have to agree with Bella. This poem is very in your face.
First off, welcome to YWS! I'm Bella! Now, on to your poem~~
Um...no offence, but this poem nearly makes me afraid to comment. It's very..."in your face", for lack of a better phrase. You have some good points, like poetry having many different styles and types. But, no matter what the style, you can't leave out apostraphes(sp?), or misspell words. These things make it go from a good poem, to a bad quality piece of work. It also makes the poem hard to read.
MERRY WRITING!
~Bella~