Fireweed

Lovely rhyme and images in the first stanza; in the second, the rhyme seemed a bit forced and I think the rhythm got messed up. It could be longer, but ...

Yes, rather cliche, but there were a couple really lovely phrases and images. Maybe you could kind of filter out the unoriginal parts and work with the better bits? :)

wow,that WAS awesome. Very well-written and believable. In fact, it's kinda scary how believable it is... :shock: I agree with bobo about the title. Not all straight A people are ...

This is very unique and not at all cliche... good job, it's refreshing to see an original "relationship" song; they start to seem all petty much the same after a ...

This was pretty funny, though I agree with snoink that the joke wore a little thin by the end, and I second kiashana's suggestion to develop it more. It's cute ...

Ya, comparing her to Sylvia Plath seems pretty harsh... There's great emotion in this, but lot's of cliches, and a couple parts don't make sense. Also, some parts seem kind ...

This is really sweet. I can relate to it so much. Well, I only turned 14 pretty recently, but... feh. :roll: Still, the feeling's mutual. I just feel nostalgic about ...

My immediate response after reading the first line was that it was going to be whiney and cliche, which it was a bit, i spose, but it has lovely flow ...

This does chocalate justice. The last stanza is so poetic... You should totally sell that to some sophisticated chocalate company to print on their wrappers. :D

That was different, but liked it. Telling it from the rat's perspective was really cool. Poor rat!! I felt for him... This was a bit lacking in plot, but very ...

Cool. Though it's random and non-sensical, it's quite clever... Interesting what a sleep-deprived mind (or rather 3 sleep deprived minds in this case) can come up with. Dancing capybaras and ...

Wow, that's ace for a nine-year old!! I love it how in the begginning, you think that it's actually happening,and then it turns out to be the knght telling a ...

AWESOME. I love how each stanza is like a random snapshot; seperate images with a very slight, subtle connection. Great imagery and wording. You tied it all together really well ...

I like. I loved the way you kept using water-related metaphors, and "Lips tangle like fishing hooks" is really awesome and unique. The anaphora was really well-done too; nice and ...

Like several people mentioned, it was a bit repetetive and rhyme-y, but the way you showed the girl maturing was really effective. Your rhymes are good- not to forced; but ...