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I third Crysi and Ed. You need to do some serious study of poetry before you can really write it. Your imagery, as has been said, is trite: in other ...

Your imagery and the concept are lovely, but the length of the lines kind of beats down any possible flow--shorten them, make your statements more concise, and try again. A ...

The poem itself is rather weak, but I love the message behind it--it's really a very accurate representation of a sisterly bond. I'd suggest paying more attention to the rhythm ...

This is... yes, well. I second everything Brad said. This one even fails to be vaguely amusing, as some of your other sillier ones were. If you're not serious about ...

:lol: I liked this one, Anna. Very amusing. However, I can't help but wonder why you structured the first stanza the way you did, when it follows the same patterns ...

This is a prime example of bubblegum rhyme--simple rhymes that really have no purpose other than that: to rhyme! These are actually not beneficial to your poetry, but detrimental. Try ...

Just as Kitty says--you should complete your work, or at least have it in an advanced stage of editing, before you post it on YWS. You have to give us ...

I agree with Kitty and Ed. I think you need to use stronger words and stronger images--give the poem a backbone, so to speak. As it is, it's kind a ...

It's got a message, and the rhyme works--but the imagery, will pretty and well-conveyed, isn't anything spectacularly eye-catching. Try using more powerful words to really catch your readers interest.

This really isn't a poem at all. Kitty's suggestions would put it more in a poetic form, but when what you have is nothing more than navel-gazing, what's the point? ...

I love the first image, of kissing the pencil lead--after that, it really loses steam. The "You permeate my art" bit broke any flow you had going, too, since it ...

My ears will pop With change in height And a change in thought Will have things popping Too. I love this! It's got a great, almost jazzy feel to it. ...

Actually, wewinwelose, it's either 'til or until . Try checking your facts before you advise someone else, hm? Daenesh: This poem is, as Claudette says, a prime example of navel-gazing. ...

This poem is tripe. The idea of it is overdone, and you're not expressing it in any original or aesthetic way. Also, you should note that it is not necessary ...

The forced, backwards structure and the archaic language is too much. It forces the reader to stop and think and try to figure what the heck you're talking about--which you ...