Emerson

Hello! I made your line smaller, alright? Try not to use really long lines because they freak out the front page and then Nate [s]wants to butcher us[/s] gives us ...

S3 was my favorite. That stanza was superb, I loved it. The others? I'm not so sure. I'm trying to understand your full meaning, and I'm not getting it. After ...

If you want it deleted, PM a moderator. (Like me!) As to the critique, it's a very good idea for the poem but it was poorly worked out. They sad ...

No arms to embrace me nor a shoulder to cry on. Tears keep falling ceaselessly and unnoticed by all I think this is your weakest stanza. Rather than telling us ...

I liked it, but I don't think it should be a poem. This was like a story in a verse, really. It had no poetic qualities beyond rhyming, and I'm ...

hahahahah. Yes. PUNCTUATION IS LOVE! Anyhow. The idea is cliché, or the ending is. In some places I liked it: she is merely an arms length away but she is ...

The whirling ghosts I think here, you should use a word besides ghost. Maybe spirits, or entity? I liked this poem, but I think you should add a bit more ...

My thirst has bled my dry—but at last— do you mean "me" instead of my? The third stanza seems strange to me, I don't see how "this mess" fits in, ...

Better. :D I half liked this, and half didn't. Not your fault; I'm not a person for nature poems. I like meanings and things, not the sadness of trees. ^_~ ...

There were some things that really bothered me about this poem. For one, you have a lot of slang dialect in it, like jus' and an, which was kind of ...

I'm not really sure what to say about it? This might end up being really short. I was kind of curious why the moon was out in the day time--assuming ...

I liked this. :) Because of that I'm going to nit-pick. He looked across the table, With confusion and with woe. His blue eyes dull like iron, Like the sun ...

Hah, here is your critique: critique.wav - 11.28MB Just a note, at one part it kind of cut out? I say "Seventh stanza". I say um a lot, and sound ...

I'm not so sure I like it as much as Gadi... It could have potential, but as it is, it's hard for me to feel anything from it. There is ...

I like the metaphor you used, because sometimes I can feel like this! Over all it was pretty neat, but there are some things you could fix up. To a ...