Young Writers Society

Better.

I half liked this, and half didn't. Not your fault; I'm not a person for nature poems. I like meanings and things, not the sadness of trees. ^_~

Beautiful imagery, though. This was my favorite part:

Finally, sickeningly--
a hole.

She is gaping.

I have to agree with Kitty, the "crystal tear" part needs to be fixed.
And "strong", that was just a common mistake.

Other than that, I really liked it. The imagery was really pretty.


Where it says "Crystal tears dangle-- frozen--in time." Just a suggestion: add a semicolon after "dangle" and take the "--" out from behind frozen. Just a suggestion.
Great job!

This is written beautifully, but I am not sure about the structure of this poem. I didn't really like it, as it seemed to mess with the flow and made it all skew-iff. Maybe you should go for the traditional apprach of the stanzas and verses and such. This may just be personal preference though, as I'm not very adventurous with my structures, so I applaud you for being more creative and braver than me.

It flowed wonderfully and I found that the imagary was perfect - I couldn't ask for any more to give for my imagination to run riot amongst the words.

Good work!

Not bad, not good but great!!
Really loved it.
There were a few things you could've changed but I'll pretend I didnt see it.
Really good
Keep it up.

Thanks for all the suggestions, guys.

Will improve soon!

It's lovely, but I think that some of your phrases jar a little, eg "latches"and "launches". I think you could use better words here.
Overall it flowed nicely, and your enjmabment is good.As Kitty said, your imagery is good. Just a little polish and it will be perfect. Maybe try reading it aloud so you get a better sense of the flow.

Ooh, I love it! The idea is great. And it reminds me of "Crystal Chronicles." That's a great game, IMHO. Thanks for this!

You have some nice imagery, a good theme and a lovely style of writing but some of the lines need a bit of work. Here's a few suggestions -

There she stands-
limbs embracing the sky,
olive coattails [This should probably be coat tails rather than 'coattails' but I think you could use a stronger image.] flapping lazily
in the wind.
Crystal tears dangle--
frozen--in time.
The last of her kind-- [The last of her kind? This confused me a little. Until this moment I was pretty sure you was describing a tree but there are lots of trees...]
firm,
steady,
strong.

A woodpecker alights,
tapping hastily at her shell.
She sways,
but the claws have already
latched on.
Finally, sickeningly--
a hole.

She is gaping.

Satisfied, the pecker
launches into the distance--
away.

And one more crystal tear falls. [You didn't mention the first one falling. You merely said that it was dangling and frozen in time so perhaps 'And at last, that crystal tear falls.' or maybe 'And one more crystal tear forms.']

In general, I did like the poem and I think it's a good piece of personification but you could include a touch more imagery and just neated up the odd line here and there. It's well written though.

*Edit* Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the title. I think you should change it so that the subject of the poem isn't so obvious because your description is sufficient for your reader to realise that you're talking about a tree.