Emerson

The first paragraph (the one with the italicized words) wasn't exactly 'great.' it was hard to read through, since the bulk of it was prose and strange adjectives. but I ...

Nice disclaimer :-) You don't really need it, no one will steal... The moon was full and the color of the autumn Remove 'the' before 'autumn' The wind stirred the ...

I don't really like the first line (all of it) It just sounds strange. And so does much of the rest of it. All the periods make everything jump out ...

The ad in your sig sounded interesting... She had been kind of enjoying the strange experience of watching the people [comma] The angels. I know its a child's voice but ...

Daina had been sleeping, or more accurately trying too. The first comma should really be after 'or' and you need a comma after 'accurately' I believe those are called appositives. ...

‘We don’t like to admit it, but we are trapped by it[comma]’ he thought, glancing over at it, as it seemed to creep forward, furthering its attempts to overwhelm everything ...

Hello there :-D Romance isn't my thing but I think I can do sentence fixer uppers as armonia called them. A man wearing a dark grey suit stood at the ...

I've decided not to work on grammar and typos, I think Myth has covered the majority. To begin, I don't like the first paragraph much. Its a lot of telling, ...

That is what is is. That is what it is, maybe? I liked it, the wording was nice and the lines the perfect length. I'm not good at critiquing lyrics ...

And, oh! Was it a nice place! IMO it should be 'And, oh [comma] was it a nice place!' it just seems funny to start the sentence with was. or ...

I liked how morbid and disturbing this was, amazing job. Things like this entertain the hell out of me. Ever since I read Lolita its a source of interest :-D ...

I stepped into the dingy little bar, looking around. looking is a present tense, but you start out with past tense so to make it correct you could maybe say ...

Hi there! Hope you like my critique :-) It'll be my second ever. (I'm keeping a tally for now, I'm excited) Every medal; I won. Every first team; I played ...

I loved this book, it came for me at a perfect time when I was going through my own issues. It was pretty good, I'm not really fond of 'teenager' ...

I started reading this book, and loved it. But at the time I was real distracted and wanted something shorter so I could have the instant gratification of reading a ...