EloquentDragon

Oh, I and H are characters? I see. Then you need to revise that sentence their to read "riding together, astride a chestnut and a black." (I also, apparently, missed ...

Well, story-wise things moved a little too fast and seemed a bit unrealistic. I think a lot of that came from the setting though---we can't really visualize where and how ...

oh yeah, "hire," I believe

Ah, I see @Characterization---Well, don't reveal everything all at once, ESPECIALLY about backstories and things like that. But DO concretely establish your characters-your readers need to know how th

Ignore this completely... I put something here that I did not mean to put here.

I WILL read this, I swear! But right now just commenting to reserve my spot, so to speak. I am an aficiando of Japanese culture... particularly the "samurai" periods from ...

Sorry about the format on that, I must have added an accidential "quote" somewhere in there

...Well, I MEANT to put the nitpicks into spoilers... sorry about that. ;)

Shaddup, you dirty rotten troll. ;)

This was increidible. I prefer violin to cello, but still, this is awesome. First off, I like how the poem started out as distant in the first stanza and gradually ...

Forgot to mention one last thing... the name "Rovaalian" is hard to pronounce and remember, you can easily eliminate an "a" with no detrement to intent whatsoever. "Rovalian" just looks ...

... that was weird

Sorry if I wasn't clear *Ahem* on my review. Your plot was clear and understandable, the whole thing was easy to grasp. Nothing was too confusing, except what I already ...

Holy cow girl, this is long! Split it into 3 parts... wherever you have a line you should have a different post. Post em' one at a time, reviewers will ...

Yep. I give up. Maybe I'll fix it later. (Am I supposed to post to Writer's Feed pad and THEN submit?)