DukeofWonderland

Hello there ^_^ So, in the first stanza: Whatever it is ... , I think it works better this way. In the second stanza, and the feelings in my soul, ...

Hello there, Firstly dear, this isn't art. It's supposed to be posted in your blog, I think. Okay, so paragraph 1, sentence 3: "Why am I complaining" ought to be ...

Hello there ^_^ Firstly, your content was entertaining and nice. I loved the description of the catching of the mouse, initially (before this) the story seemed ... cute. In the ...

Hello there ^_^ Firstly, I think your title needs to change. Even if you really want to put the whole quote in there, don't put "-James Thurber" in there too. ...

Hello ^_^ Firstly, I adore the whole idea and I think you're a brave one for attempting this. The ideas passed on great and the flow was wonderful. I somewhat ...

Hello there ^_^ Starting off, your punctuation's good. Since that's usually the first problem poets have, I'll say you're doing good. As you haven't separated your work into stanzas, I'll ...

You have good lines in there, somewhere. And it's looking for that somewhere that'll make you lose readers. You may not like regular and commonly used patterns of poetry and ...

Hello Willow ^_^ So I'll be honest and say that when this piece started off, I could tell that it was clearly quite well written but I wasn't expecting an ...

Hello Trev, hope you're enjoying being on YWS. I'll start off by saying that you're piece here is actually an article, not a short story as you had chosen for ...

Just some general pointers - 1. Punctuate your poetry: even in poetry, sentences are sentences. So don't forget to put in the necessary full stops or semi-colons. Punctuation helps tell ...

You're punctuation needs some twitches done, here and there. What I remember Hannah telling me, is that you can think of your stanzas like any sentence in prose form and ...

Hello, it's me again :D Starting off- The capitalisation of L on love on the first line of the first stanza & the O on the second line of the ...

Hello, here's my review for your work today :) I don't see any major problems, your punctuation though, needs some looking over in the second and fourth stanza. Like the ...

Not an amzing reviewer but here's a shot. The poem's short, and concise is good. But it also feels a bit repetative and lacking content. Of course that helps in ...

I'll do the world's shortest review because I'm not very good with this genre myself. First, I think James, Daniel an Phillip need a bit more of an intro before ...