Dreamworx95

What a great little poem. Many of these lines can be applied to a lot of things, not just midterms. "We will not be rewarded until time's up" resonates with ...

Hi liehart, There's a lot to like in this poem. The images are powerful and have me in mind of American Horror Story or The Shining. It's really easy to ...

Hello Hope, I offer you a few revision suggestions: "She didn’t know who he was, or how he found her, but he did." - ...but he had. "He just stared ...

Great title for the piece. Is the narrator agoraphobic or does she have obsessive-compulsive disorder? I enjoy the repetition of "yeah" and the imagery of the cat's big yellow eyes. ...

Hi Rosella, I enjoy the structure of this narrative poem. The format is very pleasing to the eye. There are a quite a few striking phrases throughout the piece: I ...

Hi Saentiel, this is a great essay. You hooked me from the very first line. This piece is full of sensory and powerful moments and striking insights. The naivete of ...

Hello Katja Dawn, great job in this poem. I like that it ends on a positive and enlightened note. There are a lot of loaded words and phrases. "Mother" and ...

Hello, For better or worse - loaded and painfully true statement. I made decisions that would change so much more than just me - powerful words. It's almost like she ...

Hello, This is temporary, he said. - Striking first sentence. I enjoy the interjecting nature of the thoughts in parenthesis, and the way the rest of the narrative moves on ...

Hi, Hattable "With a gulp and a sigh of satisfaction, I downed the last of my bottle." - the gulp part seems redundant, and the action doesn't read very smooth ...

Hello, Lafayette! I'd cut "Ha! You're too slow" and have the story start right at the action. The dialogue isn't effective because we don't know who is speaking and it ...

Hello, Dreaming, I'm just diving right in here! "He had taken his glove off and what he saw make shivers run down his back." made " Oh crap. Myles thought. ...

Hi Carlito, I looked through your portfolio for the most recent work you have, so I'm here to review! -“have a good day”. The period goes before the quotation mark. ...

-"Scott stood up suddenly and, as a consequence, got a mayor head rush." Scott stood up suddenly and got a major head rush. - she was des armed. disarmed - ...

Hi Erika, I'm here to review your third chapter. -"Where the hell are all the doctors and nurses?! she wondered." Cut "she wondered" -"As she examined the small wound, a ...