Demeter

Hi, Livinginfantasy! Your poem was sweet and had a nice basic idea, which hasn't really got clichéed yet – I mean the bride/groom thing. However, it didn't really bring through ...

Woah. This was a big chapter, not by length, but by the message. You have this interesting style of using non-touched words that are quite uncommon today, or at least ...

Hi! Oh, what a breathtakingly pretty chapter. bewildered. evanescing spraying the sky It's a little disturbing to read the same words again and again. I mean, "evanescing" is a beautiful ...

Oh, Sarah, this wasn't a disgrace! Don't be so modest, this was good! Sarah is more bewildered than anything else as she watches the door slowly creak open as Marian ...

Wow! The beginning was really dramatic, good job. You sure know how to keep your readers interested. The whole bold-italics thing was a little hard to follow, but I think ...

A large, crooked Victorian house; three stories high with a sad jagged lawn outside the gazebo porch. Hastily up the wide marble stairs, footsteps echoing, echoing, echoing. Nice start! I've ...

Hi. Don't worry about the length – for me, it's good if the chapter is short, especially if I have to read in computer. ;) Ooh, something's happening! She clothes ...

Yeay, Oz references. =) I can't help it, but I'm always having a little melancholic feeling while reading this. I don't know whether this would touch me as much if ...

Hey, Sarah! This was generally a very good chapter! They don't belong here. The parts in italics are supposed to be her thoughts, right? Well, in that case I believe ...

Hey. She's being followed. Somehow this isn't strong enough for me. "Someone is following her" would maybe sound better, but I'm not sure. Actually, my suggestion is more awkward than ...

Woah. It's quite depressing to know it's based on a true story – your story, I suppose, the same name and all. I almost wouldn't like to keep reading, I ...

Hey, Sarah! Her gaze sought something in the distance. Her gaunt, honey-coloured fingers clasped the leash. All's fine, but both sentences start with "her", thus making it sound awkward. Same ...

Hi! Happiness is a fleeting shadow, Trying to dull the pain of everyday life, but unable to cover up the vast quantities of pain and anguish that seems to envelope ...

Hello, denj! Thanks for letting me know about this. Like lhighton, I also read only the first chapter – at least for now. I suggest you'd post them here chapter ...

Hello again, fun4eva. Haven't seen you in a while! Okay. I think this was an all right one, but I really feel like I've heard all of this before. There ...