Crysi

I love it! :D You seem to want to stick with four lines per stanza, but I think the last line in the third stanza would work better as two ...

:roll: Well, now that THAT little debate is over (Cicero, meet Brad), let me give MY thoughts on this: I liked it. There were a few rough spots where it ...

First of all, RiverGirl, never think you don't have the authority to critique something just because you're younger! We're all a community here. :) A.O. - I love this piece!! ...

And this is why you don't critique poetry, Jordan. Lin... this is gruesome, but beautiful. The problem is, it doesn't flow very well to me... It might help if you ...

you also use the phrase 'not-erection men.' the word for that is impotent, and works better for flow. Actually, Qi, if you had read it carefully, you would have seen ...

My one comment - it should be "the deed has been done" instead of "the deed had been done." :) Other than that, this is pretty good. I won't go ...

I don't like the rhyming. It makes it seem like an amateurish piece. I don't really like how you split up "With no one else it's a different story, kisses ...

LOL! That's so great!! Thanks for including me, Kat. ;) Very amusing. :lol: Now, about that tattoo... *wonders when she can get it* ;)

Wow. You really do have a talent for writing. I really loved this piece. It flowed beautifully and, in my opinion, used a very unique image to get the point ...

Wow. I liked this a lot more than I thought I would. I'm going through a bit of religious indecision right now, but this... This made me want to return ...

*blinks* I feel like I'm missing something, only because I have no trouble understanding it lol. I like this a lot, although I'd change "struggled" to "struggles" just to stay ...

I like what you've done with it - even if you did just add an intro. And personally, I think the "bet us ween" is genius. I read it and ...

I actually really like this. The first stanza, in my opinion, is excellent. The second stanza is good as well, but the break in pattern - "Shut up shut up ...

While the last part was amusing... This is not poetry. This is an example of people who call themselves writers but still sink to the lowest parts of society where ...

I love this... The imagery is amazing, and on a side note it's very synesthetically pleasing to me. Anyway, I love the way you write about music. It just really ...