I like what you've done with it - even if you did just add an intro.
And personally, I think the "bet us ween" is genius. I read it and laughed because it was so unexpected and brilliant.
What is there to say about it? Your writing seems to be getting more... human, I think. More emotional, perhaps.
Oh, and that stanza I said I didn't like earlier... I think it's growing on me.
Points: 6831
Reviews: 594
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