Corncob

Salutations pretzelsing, Let's get right to it. My passion and life pursuit goal. Life pursuit and life goal are the same thing; this is redundant. It would still rhyme and ...

Hi RoyalHighness, First suggestion: expand on this. Yes, I realize the whole point of this is to be short, but I don't think it should be that way. You were ...

Alright well I agree with pretty much everything Strange and TheScratchedAcoustic talked about, except for the capitalization and punctuation stuff. For this poem, I don't believe those two things dis

Hi EternalRain, My first major suggestion is to shorten your stanzas by combining lines. That way, the poem will be less choppy and flow better. I can tell that the ...

Great poem! My only suggestion is to change up this line a little: remind me of a lamplight that's departed: Because all the other lines end and rhyme with "ight", ...

Wow, this is really powerful yet simple! My favorite lines are: They look around. Nothing has changed. It is still dark outside. Especially that last line. It really paints a ...

"Hollow bones filled with cement?" Nightcrawler, how do you come up with these things? Gaaah. counting the nights past listening to the stars This seemed to me like it should ...

Salutations ClippedWings, I majorly agree with theironnovelist about everything they suggested. For those who did not watch the Superbowl, this is confusing near the end. What happened, really? (I kno

Salutations PumpkinCat, I try not to pick too many fights with punctuation and poetry, as I like to live by the motto that doing such is more or less tasteless. ...

I feel like this is a rant that you wanted to get down on paper. Or perhaps an idea in your head that kept on circulating? You tell me. Anyway, ...

Hi Nightcrawler, This is going to be a pretty choppy review, so I apologize beforehand, but here goes. smoke-choked charcoal sky, Amazing imagery and description to start off with. I ...

Hi Tigerlilly37, I read your comments below saying that this poem was what had happened to you this morning. I'm very sorry and I hope things work out for you. ...

This is so awesome. Before you even started the poem, I had pictures and emotions and chills, but the way you described it really took my breath away. Your imagery ...

I really don't have much to advise for this poem. Your vocabulary usage is excellent, and your flow is good. I have no idea if this is what you imagined ...

Other than what Wolfare01 mentioned below, I just have a few suggestions. That’s why Professor Stevens likes to use the hallways for our combat exercises. He’s far from my favorite ...