Cameron

Thanks everyone for the input. I've incorporated some slight revisions, and will probably add more as they occur to me. I think I will leave the format as is, though. ...

It ran away from home last year. This is rather redundant and a little too blunt for my liking. Also, what is the significance of "taking it west"? Otherwise, nice ...

I am indeed a boy, have no worries ;). I'm surprised you found this that enjoyable, it was really just a slap-dash piece that I threw together in a moment's ...

You know, working to put the bread on the table, bringing home the bacon, etc, etc.

Cadmium: The "we" is in reference to the pleasure seekers and escapists who find comfort, in this case, in the bottle. Xanthan gum: 1st stanza: quite simply the drinking phase, ...

Piepiemann, One of the major fundamental principles that you must learn as a writer is too never, repeat never, judge the writer by what they have written. It is the ...

I've incorporated some slight revisions. Better?

Poetry is all about being subtle-- you have been much too direct here. Go through your poem, take out the choice verses and analogies and try and piece something together ...

Imagination is all good and well, but the "system" of poetry requires the taking of that imaginative thought and moulding it into a configuration of expression. Thoughts and imagination alone ...

This is beautiful, you should consider elaborating on this idea in a longer poem. Cameron

Prologue: Friday, September 29 My hands shake as I type, and I know that it won’t be long before I’ll have to stop for awhile. Eloquence and maybe even coherent ...

This is beautiful in its simplicity. My only suggestion is that you incorporate ryhme a little more evenly throughout the entire poem--and not just the last two lines. Perhaps the ...

I can understand your issue with the link between the medications and the ending, I will work on that. However, religious references are found throughout the entire poem, as you ...

I was in a rush :P . I see the symbology now. However, I still maintain that while the correlation there is evident, that stanza's parallel with love is abstract, ...

Brad, There is no emotive approach under the sun that has not already been explored, contemplated, or experienced. This is but my own perspicacious musings regarding an issue that is ...