Published January 9, 2007
City of Bridges
She always expects
surprise, even here, in the
rows of corn and wheat.
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I like the last line, and the idea of expecting surprise. And I love the title. One thing you might want to think about though is incorporating more imagery - haikus are usually entirely imagery or metaphors (or the few I've read were, but I have a very limited knowledge). I think your first two lines could be made better with more imagery.
Good poem, different styles of poetry are so much fun!
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it's a haiku - it can't really get any longer without destroying the point of the poem.
Look it up here if you need help understanding.
I like this, and i agree with Cameron that maybe adapt it to make it a little longer?
miyaviloves
This is beautiful, you should consider elaborating on this idea in a longer poem.
Cameron
I don't know if you've ever hung out on the old railway bridge across the river in Saskatoon, but let me tell you: it's one of the best places for inspiring writing I've ever been to, especially in the summer. Sitting out on the old support struts with nothing but a few rickity pieces of wood between you and the drop, looking down the river - for a guy who's used to the cramped and damp confines of England, the warm, dry, sunny atmosphere is like something straight out of a romance novel.
I like your poem. I don't make a rule of critiquing haiku, mainly because I think they're just flashes of life, and as such they fulfull their poetic intention just fine as they are. It's very beautiful: reminds me of the praries.
Peace out.