Cade

I liked that it rhymed, but the rhyme wasn't consistent. I would like it if you put lines 3 and 4 together, as well as lines 5 and 6. That ...

I thought of Chionophobia, too, but that's probably because I've just been reading it. This poem didn't impress me as much as some of your others. It's well done and ...

I disagree. I don't think that the rhyme has choked this poem; it is a bit stretched in some places, but the poem reads like a ballad or something. I ...

Hmm. It's not much that's new or brilliant, but it's well-constructed and flows nicely. Is the title "A storm is Brewing"? If it is, I would suggest changing it to ...

Oh, how creepy! This is very strong. The rhyme doesn't make it sound childish or silly; it seems to make it even creepier. Her plump legs hid under a too ...

My, that's bizarre. The long, opening paragraphs really didn't do much for me. You spend more time than is necessary telling the reader, "By golly, I'm in a boat and ...

Oh, I'm so pleased to see these two characters interact! It seems like they're old friends from college. Jonathan is getting married to Sarah, but it's awkward because Kyle used ...

I disagree. I think that this introduction provides a good foil for that of the sweaty previous installment. This doctor fellow sort of makes me think of House, although that ...

I didn't find it truly striking or new, but it was well-written and the dialogue was above average. I did have a problem with this sentence: After his father passed ...

My suggestions/questions are in orange: Without ivy or mold, your fountain of joy runs dry. The fountain runs dry because it doesn't have ivy or mold? Curled round the cracked ...

I agree - some punctuation other than those two commas would really help. It sounds nice - the meter, rhythm, and rhyme are all fine, and, as Claudette said, it ...

Yeah, I agree with Fireweed. I read Speak , which is wonderful. Well, I read it in seventh grade. Perhaps it is still wonderful. Anyway, I read Catalyst after that, ...

Ooh, that last stanza was great. Hmm, this piece has great imagery, and some of these things are said in a unique way. I enjoyed each phrase separately, but it ...

C'mon, Harpz, don't take it personally. No piece is perfect. The one thing that annoyed me the most about this piece was too much background information. The narrator seems a ...

Well, getting back to the poem... It does sound a bit like the attention to rhythm is overpowering the language itself. With that attention to rhythm, it's a little disappointing ...