Published December 30, 2006
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141,404 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
plagiarist
boobaah
This was very enjoyable to read. The whole time I was thinking and never knowing and by the end I wanted to know more. You have a very great description and a fun and interesting title to draw your readers in. I also loved how you ended this. So now I want to know the rest, your plot tells me there's going to be or should be so I'm not getting too worried. But yeah, I really think you should continue this, very very interesting.
Keep it up!
-Rieda
I'm agreeing with misspriss: this was probably one of the creepier stories I've read. While the story does seem a little vague, I was trying to look for symbols throughout the story, and, if I had some more time to study the story, I'm sure I could find a few.
Otherwise, this story is rich in detail, and I had a great time reading it.
I dig it--very creepy, very fun. I didn't catch an overall message...but does there need to be one?
It was really Twilight Zone
Fun stuff man.
--Dono
My, that's bizarre.
The long, opening paragraphs really didn't do much for me. You spend more time than is necessary telling the reader, "By golly, I'm in a boat and I don't know how I got there."
It was more interesting once the narrator meets the Other Man and they move toward land.
I agree with Phorcys; this was rather vague. On the whole, though, well-written. Try some variation in sentence structure...for example, several sentences start with "i" in the first paragraph. Variety will make the piece flow better and will interest the reader.
Colleen
No, I don't like this - it seemed far to vague and I couldn't understand where you were going or what you were trying to say.
Oh. What can I say? It's sooo...fantastically weird and haunting. Congratulations, you've just given me the weirdest sensation ever. It's almost like I enjoyed it yet...I hated it. Hmm...I will certeinly have to think on this...I will post again when I decide.
No--wait! I think I like it. Yes, it is defiently growing on me. In one minute I'll be shaking your hand on writing a very VERY strange book.