Cade

"Life is like a box of chocolates." "Life is like a roller coaster." Look, life can be like anything. My friend and I once played a game where we related ...

This came off as awfully tell-y and not show-y. Instead of saying, "Kara is jealous," or something, give me some actions or thoughts that show me she's jealous. The reader ...

I second Clau. This sounds like a Hallmark card and that is not a good thing. It was well-written and well-structured, yes, but it failed to bring me in. I ...

I have absolutely no idea what to make of this. You described it as "abstract poetry" and that seems to be an accurate description. Though I couldn't take much away ...

I'll second the other two with a HURRAH, LOVELY IMAGERY. I could practically feel the sun on the back of my neck. It made me think of when I used ...

This entire poem is sexual reference. Instead of explaining your poem in a response, try putting it actually in the poem. I have no idea how this is about sex. ...

I really liked the rhyme here. It was very un-forced and enjoyable. I say take out the ellipses, first of all. Putting them in either makes the piece sound drifty ...

*eye twitches* I'm amazed I got through this. All the tabs and spaces...unnh, I couldn't handle it. These mostly seemed to be rambling phrases that didn't really...go anywhere. Some of ...

Haha, very enjoyable. The rhythm is catchy! I loved that beginning, just adored it. Will the wall, To fell a fool, And miss the catch For the school The rhythm ...

Actually, I wrote this poem about my sister. I have never really hated anyone until now. My sister's boyfriend had two daughters with two different mothers while he was still ...

Intriguing. I liked that this wasn't one of those "I love you, but you don't love me *list of emotions*" poems. That said, some parts were cliche and trite. I ...

First of all, title: "Heart Brake "? Do you mean "Heart Break" or is it meant to show that your heart was physically stopped? I make the same spelling error ...

Hmm. No, chemistry does not equal astronomy. While this was well-constructed and unique, I felt that it was cluttered up with too many scientific references to flow as nicely as ...

Punctuation, capitalization, and spelling take two seconds, and the poem's lack of them is highly distracting to the reader. Try getting those in next time. It's a cute idea, but ...

Do all those things that bonafide says if you want to keep this poem; her suggestions were excellent. You certainly had capitalization and punctuation mistakes, but those are easily fixed ...