Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
"Why is this happening to me?" Kara asked herself while she was walking home on that cold wintery day. She tried to hold back her tears as she watched her breath show up like a cloud of smoke. A lump had settled in her throat and Kara was afraid it wouldn't leave her.Her dirty blonde hair swayed in the icy wind as her thoughts raced around in her head. She thought of her used to be beloved one.
"Stupid Krystal," Kara muttered and shivered from the coldness. "She ruins everything and i dont know what guys see in her," Kara whispered as tears slowly started to drip down her face. "I dont get it!" Kara sobbed as she stopped and sat down at a nearby bench. "Why can't I be her!" Kara wailed as she thought of how pretty and popular Kristy was. She let the tears crawl down her cheeks as she thought of how pitiful she was.
Well this is an interesting start here. We've got ourselves an interesting start right here. We've got ourselves a powerful little moment here. This character seems to have a pretty intriguing relationship with this other person here and I think it gets our attention quite well that way. The disappointment there is highlighted really powerfully and you do get a sense that something powerful has happened as a result of how strong those details are. Well let's see where this goes.
After what seemed like hours Kara stood up on her feet and slowly said to herself "Someday i'll be better than Krystal," and chanted that to herself for the rest of the walk home, hoping that someday, it would come true. Kara cried herself to sleep the rest of the nights after that. Every night tears fell out of her blue eyes and rolled down her rosy cheeks.
Well this part adds an interesting element to the whole matter. It adds on another sort of view in the whole idea of this person and what they seem to be considering their goal in life. Now it seems almost as if this is a little more towards the unhealthy side of things than something this girl might have done to her, although given the lack of information here, nothing can fully be ruled out either.
Kara walked along her highschool grounds as she breathed the fresh smell of cut grass. Spring was her favorite season. She walked with the boys who adored her. Her wish had come true. Krystal became addicted to drugs and her prettines went away. The boys were all over Kara now. She was in Krystal's shoes now. She had the best boyfriend she could ever imagine an she was as happy as a clam. Sadly a year after her graduation Krystal died from drugs and the only person that attended her funereal *other than her parents* was a happy girl that had blue eyes and a pretty smile that once was known as a loser. This persons name......was Kara.
Okay... that ending is a little on the nose there, and also quite rushed. Its an interesting one. It's almost dare I say satisfying in how it manages to deliver quite powerfully on the emotions built up from earlier and provide something of a foil to the earlier bit. But it is a little ruined by just how fast it is and the way you just go a touch to the extreme on just how badly it goes for this Krystal.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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