Cade

This poem really failed for me, gummy, I think because of your habit of getting a little too convoluted and abstract in your description. The opening three lines are decent, ...

I strongly agree with bubbles, and most of what I would say has already been said. My main suggestion has to do with sentence structure and style; in a fifteen-line ...

Oh, goody, the link works now. As I said before, I do like the lyrics. The song was pleasant to listen to; you could have gone a little farther with ...

I'm with Gummy, Clau, euclidean, and Adam here. This looks like you just threw a few abstract, fragmented phrases together and said, "Ah! Poetry!" But poetry is about communication; can ...

I most certainly agree with the others; it felt very clunky, as if you weren't making the most out of the space you allowed yourself. Metaphor. I understand the allegory ...

I agree with the others. You'd be better off scrapping this and starting over again, and next time, tell us why we care. No one wants to listen to what ...

I found this poem a little wordy for my taste; it's drowning in its own vocabulary and getting tangled in its own abstract metaphors. Each part of this is beautiful; ...

I agree with the others. (Basically, I bow down to Snoink.) Your poem came off just plain flat; I want to care, but I can't really find a reason to. ...

I think this poem was hurt by the assignment it was written for. As a general rule, if you're making a metaphor about life, DO NOT say, "Life is like ...

Alright! So, the breeching didn't kill me--I actually liked the poem a lot. It wasn't the best but it was certainly a new take on the idea, and had a ...

Description. You definitely have a gift for creating images, but I felt that the rest of the poem was lacking. Beautiful images cannot make up for a lack of significant ...

I applaud you for taking on the challenging form that is the sonnet, but I agree with Brad in that it wasn't done brilliantly. I think you need to weed ...

This one needs so much revision you may just need to toss it and start over. I found almost nothing poetic about this; it's interesting subject matter, but I'm afraid ...

It's a sweet poem (sweet as in, awww), but you need to talk less about what the bench looks like and more about what it means to the speaker of ...

Hey Misty! I really enjoyed this; you certainly have a talent for description and characterization. Exposition. I thought that the beginning dragged a little bit. Your sentences were very bland, ...