Cade

I am: sick of navel-gazing, cliche, angsty poems. Oh, dear, I do agree with Suzie. Navel-gazing makes lovely journal entries, not poetry. It's okay to write a poem about something ...

It's so emo it sends my soul into a spiral of despair. You see, originality can be fun sometimes. You're 12, so you probably haven't had as much experience with ...

It's so abstract and jumpy I felt as though you meant to post a complete poem that made sense...but something happened with the computer and it only posted a few ...

I admit, the use of "something" four times in three lines scared me as I began to read this poem, but I find myself liking the beginning the best. I ...

*sighs and takes out large EMO stamp* Unfortunately, this is just one tiny piece in a large, bleeding, crying pile of similar crap. I say, toss it. If you really ...

I'm still curious...blue sky's what? You ought to know by now that using an apostrophe there demonstrates possession. If you meant plural skies , please change the title to reflect ...

Ed, you're BACK! Well, "back?" according to your custom title. Do remove the question mark one of these days. As always with your poetry, it sounds amazing and means very ...

I generally agree with Via and Suz. This is a good start, but you mostly need to work on making it smooth. Right now you have a lot of ideas ...

Hey, new member, slow down! You must not have noticed the rules for posting. Please try to critique AT LEAST two pieces before you post your own, try to keep ...

Hey, I see you're new, so welcome to YWS! I think this poem is a little too straightforward to stand out much. You did a fair job on the rhyme ...

It IS cheesy. I think a lot of things here need to be clarified. I'm confused as to the relationship between the speaker "I" and subject "you". This would really ...

It's awfully, awfully abstract. And also really cliche. To be brutally honest, I think the best thing you can do for this poem is put it out of its misery. ...

As Ayra said, it was cliche...a lot. The portrayal of love and hate was simplistic. You can show sophistication in your poetry by mixing it up a little. We've all ...

Haha, cute. Running towards a sale, Trying to get there first This implies that the second syllable, not the first, of the word "Trying" would be emphasized. We normally say, ...

I agree with Azila--good job on NOT going, "I smell this. I see this," etc. The whole thing flows very well. You could work a little more on using different ...