Published December 5, 2007
Blue sky above, white cloud below
Temples of rock, with hats of snow
Blue lakes i see,as still as can be
The beauty outstands,and humbles me
To be given the view,of a bird in flight
Is a honour i cheerish,with the gift if sight
Mountins so proud,they stay when we are gone
People of knowledge,guardians of song
Buffle rowmed,and wolf did cry
Still and gone
OH WHY DID THEY DIE!!
If adults where children,and saw with there eyes
Then wild animals would be stars in the sky
The end!
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140,586 Literary Works • 673,539 Reviews
Wow Shelley that was amazing! I never knew you wrote poems and that was a really good poem. Sorry if that sounded a bit rude.
Jess
I'm still curious...blue sky's what? You ought to know by now that using an apostrophe there demonstrates possession. If you meant plural skies, please change the title to reflect that.
Buffle rowmed indeed. For heaven's sake, learn how to spell. If you're a poor speller, as least use spell-check and check the dictionary when it comes to words you're unsure of. But honestly...this poem's technical mistakes indicate that you do not have a mastery of even basic English skills. Next time, show us that you care about your work enough to clean it up.
And I agree with Ed. Read. A lot.
-Colleen
Rhyming can add flair and fun to poetry, yes, but it is still a restriction. Here you are clearly bound by your decision to have a rhyme scheme, and that's not a good thing. break out from it and get a mastery over poetic devices and linguistics before you go adding extra elements to hold you back. and remember, you can always come back to rhyming poetry--free verse can be nothing more than a stepping stone if you choose. Regardless, it does wonders in sharpening quills and skills, and I'd strongly recommend you try it out.
Oh, and read. The best way to learn techniques is to see them used and used well. Discover what you like in other's poems; what makes them tick, and what makes them desirable. Don't just accept what the poet gives you to read, either; be active, ask yourself why he did it this way, or used that there. Through your questions, you'll find answers, and then, experience.
Happy writing,
~Ed
I'm sorry.. but who taught you how to spell. >< I'm assuming that was supposed to say "Buffalo roamed."
Never end a poem with "The end!"... Your reader should be able to tell it's the end of the poem.. if by nothing else than the fact that nothing is written after the last line. Another thing, what exactly was the point of this. I think you should scrap all but the last two lines and start by building around those. Hope this was helpful
~Rea