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Butterfly18

  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: 'I looked up at the golden arches above my head. . .'

    Hi. I'd just like to say that, I couldn't get through it, and that was before I was scrolling down to find this comment box when i knew, "Oh yes ...

    Sep 21, 2012
  • Poetry » Realistic, Fanfiction Re: I Know Why The Caged Dog Bites

    Hey, I like this little piece. I think at the beginning, the constant sentence starters as, I would remember... are repetitive, obviously, but makes it seem bland, and it distracts ...

    Sep 1, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: They haunt me

    First of all I think This has a lot if tension which is great. But I'm wondering why you don't want names in this piece? And since you don't want ...

    Aug 31, 2012
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: 20.03.2003

    Sorry to be brief about this, but the opening few lines I read, and the last few lines I just read seem a bit out-of-place, perhaps. I can tell, or ...

    Aug 8, 2012
  • Poetry » Horror, General Re: The Night's Game.

    Hey, finally I have found the time to review this piece. So overall I liked it, and your descriptive language is very nice. Perhaps at times though it's a bit ...

    Aug 8, 2012
  • Poetry » Romantic, Narrative Re: Extinguish

    I really liked this. It's an interesting little narrative poem with a nice even pace. I like how you link the second stanza to the third with repetition: "...over your ...

    Jul 2, 2012
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: An Account of the End of a Planet

    This is interesting. I can tell you're into your science terms, and that's great. However, you open strongly with an expedition log and a hook - reaching Helio 3, but ...

    Jun 22, 2012
  • Short Story » Realistic, Literature Re: Skin and Bones

    I read a piece a while ago from you with the same problem, a 'skin tag' she wants removed, but it's a bit different, and was titled 'Skin Tag' if ...

    Jun 22, 2012
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Romantic Re: Regret

    Hey, so sorry it took so long for me to get here. I've been sooo busy these last few months; college study. I reviewed the first part again, to refresh ...

    Jun 22, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: CinderAllen. Chapter 6.

    I really liked this read even though I'm not familiar with the previous chapters. I like the way your characters interact with each other. :) I did notice a lot ...

    Mar 17, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Supernatural, Fantasy Re: Angel Light

    Hi, how have you been? I really liked the idea of this story. The format however is distracting, you need to break up your text into paragraphs. There is a ...

    Mar 17, 2012
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: The Butterfly Colony

    Hello, I like the foreboding essence this has. I'm working on something similar, like a doomed-earth thing. I don't know how else to describe it. Haha. The idea I assume ...

    Mar 12, 2012
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, Fantasy Re: The Program

    Hello, Firstly, I really liked the concept of this piece, and I know its not a fully formed idea yet so I had that in mind as I read. This ...

    Mar 12, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: If I Had A Title For This It Would Be Up Here

    Hello, RenGrey. First of all, I don't like the idea of a poll just because it can't really be judged that easily. This is what I noticed immediately, The October ...

    Dec 1, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Forty Degrees Celsium - Chapter 1

    Present tense. That's what I'm trying to have a go at. :) Don't think I write it as good as you tho, haha. Anyway, Shinda. Here's my thoughts. Kate breathes ...

    Nov 26, 2011


The strongest people are not those who show their true strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.
— Unknown