BrokenSkye

Okay, before I even read this, your formatting and lines made me laugh. You can definitely see that someone little wrote this. For a nine year old, it has some ...

Wow. Just...wow. So much power! I am starting to see more and more poets let out emotion like this and just come up with the most amazing pieces! This falls ...

Okay, first off, I saw that you are new to YWS, so welcome! I really enjoyed reading this. It was filled with so much power! But, I think you ended ...

Okay, first thing is first, I can't believe no one has reviewed this yet. It is a simply beautiful three stanza poem. The only negative things that I have to ...

Okay, first thing is first, stanza four first line, it should be "he's" not "his". Stanza nine line three, doesn't flow as well as the other lines, but it has ...

Oh wow! That was breathtaking, it was simply amazing, and beautiful, and just spoke the words every suicidal person tries to bury saying that everything is okay or will be ...

I absolutely loved this. It has such power and meaning for it to be just a haiku! Punctuation would help for those who don't analyze like I do, but overall, ...

Okay, first thing I notice just scrolling down the poem is your lining, it is bumpy. I mean that as in you go from long lines to short lines where ...

I found this to be a little unique considering the title, I wasn't sure what to expect. I hope you finish it with an ending that meets it's title's potential. ...

Well, for a ten year old's work this isn't bad at all. I do suggest you make it all one stanza though with it being so short. And I would ...

I really enjoyed this poem, scrolling down the library isn't exactly what I want to be doing on my Saturday night, but pieces like this make it worth staying in. ...

Okay, first thing is first, first letter of the title should always be capitalized. Also, the first two lines should be one considering, the second line is one word and ...

Okay, first thing is first, your title. The first letter of every word except for "the" "a" or "and" should always be capitalized unless it begins in one of those ...

Okay, so first thing is first, I have no clue what I just read. You jumped around without any transitioning, or at least that is how I feel. Another thing ...

Wow, this is a long poem. And to be honest, I didn't read it all the way through. Shorting it some would be an important improvement. I loved the theme ...