BenFranks

Unfortunately this is a touch messy, but my biggest issue is your beginning: Love is a knife straight through your heart. God I've never felt so much pain! Love is ...

Hey there! I love the pace and feel to this poem. I think you've started it stunningly well. It's captivating and sets off a fluent rhythm: Trapped in this box, ...

Okay, this is persuasive which is a pluspoint, I guess. What I would say is you need to watch some sentences such as this: If I can get into a ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS! The shortness is not a problem with this poem because it conveys the effect and meaning it should . Every line is a beautifully implicit, ...

Hey there! *Likes*

Not my cup of tea. Although well-written and well-structured, it clearly made some people laugh so I guess it's a success. Personally I just didn't find any effect to it. ...

Yello again! Right, the fluency of this poem is good, but I think you could easily improve it by sticking a comma/semi-colon or two on some of the ends of ...

Hey there. I like the ideas for plot you have down here. I think you need to have a solid idea of where you're going to head in terms of ...

Hey there! I've got to say the effect of this poem is stunning and I personally love the implicity of the last two lines that allows the reader's imagination to ...

Hey there Matt! I enjoyed this poem and the rhyme scheme gives it a good pace. A bit iffy on the flow though and that might be down to your ...

Hey there! You didnt just break my heart, You didnt just tear it apart, Okay I'd say this was a lovely start, I enjoy the repition of the "You didn't" ...

Yello again! It's me as requested, again! XD I hope this review helps you (and makes your day) as much as the others did! As usual m'thoughts and suggestions are ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS. I loved the narration of your poetry here, but I feel strongly about two issues the poem seems to have: Rhythm/fluency and punctuation; the two ...

Hey there JSPike! :) It's me again! Anyway here are my thoughts on this lovely bit'a fiction... (In blue italics. Blue's an admirable colour, wouldn't you agree?) Revolution The world ...

Hey there! If I'm honest when i first saw this poem and read the first two lines I though, "oh dear." However the way you've ended this poem makes the ...